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Breaking News!!!

Wino of the Week

Everyone has a dream, something you want to do with your life.  Sometimes, that dream is just slightly out of your reach for whatever reason.  In the case of Charles Ray Fuller of Crowley, Texas, that dream was to start a record business.  The problem was Charlie had no scratch...

So, being an enterprising young 21-year-old, Charlie decided to "borrow" the money from his girlfriend's mother, Paula Prettyman.  According to reports, the Chuckmeister got his hands on a check, forged Prettyman's signature and it was off to the bank to cash the check.

The plans was foolproof.  You go to the bank, hand them the check, collect the cash, and voila, you're in the record business.  Now Charlie realized he might only get one shot at this little check forging scheme and he wanted to make sure he got enough money on his first attempt so he filled out the check for...  the tidy little sum of...  Three hundred and sixty BILLION dollars!!!  That's $360,000,000,000.00.!!!  I can't imagine how he got caught... ???

 

The alert bank teller sensed something was amiss.  Unnamed sources quote the teller as saying, "I was pretty sure that the only living person who could afford to write a $360 billion check is WinoWally but I called Ms. Prettyman anyway.  She said that she did not write that check!" 

Seriously, do you really have to make that call?

It should be noted that Mr. Fuller was not reported to be under the influence of alcohol at the time of his arrest.  (He did have some marijuana and a handgun.)  So why did the crack staff of 'Stuff award Charles this honor?  Well obviously, you have to have killed many, many brain cells over a long period of time to even think you can go into a bank and walk out with $360 extra large.  Therefore, Charlie Fuller, you are WinoStuff's Wino of the Week!

WinoJohn
May 4, 2008 
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Real News for Winos
 
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NEW!  Winery of the Month

Here's the dilemma...  You're the leader of the world's last remaining superpower.  (That should narrow it down.  Hint:  It's NOT France...)  You are hosting a dinner to honor one of the world's few real spiritual leaders.  You are somewhat of a bumbling twit and you need to choose a wine to serve with the dinner.  What do you do?  You do what any red-blooded American president would do.  You turn to California.  In this case, the brain trust at the White House turned to Sebastiani Vineyards for the wine for the big Papal dinner.  That's certainly enough to earn Sebastiani the industry's most coveted award, WinoStuff's Winery of the Month!


Pope Benedict XVI and his entourage arrive in Washington DC...

Yes, winos, the Pope visited the White House this past week and, while he couldn't stay for dinner, the President and Mrs. Bush held a dinner party in his honor.  (Damn, can you imagine being so important that you can blow off a dinner in your honor at the White House?  Geez, this dude has some juice!)  And the wine that was served at the big Papal shindig?  Well, it was none other than the Sebastiani Vineyards 2005 Dutton Ranch Chardonnay.  

 

While I'm sure the Dutton Chard was very "popalistic", I have long been a big fan of Sebastiani's basic cabernet offering.  The Sebastiani Sonoma county cab is a nice medium-bodied, fruit forward cab that will cost you like $13 at Bottle King!.  Plus, if this winery is good enough to be served at a White House dinner that Pope Benedict XVI was too busy too attend, then it's good enough for the idiots at WinoStuff!

Congrats, Sebastiani!

WinoJohn
April 2008

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New Feature!
WinoBabe of the Month!

This month's Wino Babe of the Month shares a surname with last month's WBotM.  How whack is that?  Plus, she used to work at Colgin Cellars, home of another WBotM, Ann Colgin!  It's a small, small world, isn't it.

Coincidences aside, this month's WinoBabe is none other than Michelle Edwards.  Michelle is a graduate of UC Davis with a degree in viticulture and enology. She is currently the winemaker at Cliff Lede Vineyards in Napa Valley.  And now her resume is complete.  Congratulations, Michelle, you are our WinoBabe of the Month!

...click here for the   WinoBabe Hall of Fame  


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