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IT’S
GOLFING TIME! (NOT TO BE CONFUSED
WITH A SIMILAR LINE, IT’S HAMMER TIME!) Well,
it’s after the first of May and once again, I’ve got the golf bug, but
haven’t snuck out to the links yet. It’s a little interesting how having a family will shift
your ability to complete 18 holes of golf from an average of 60 rounds per year
to a lucky dozen or so. Of
course, the wife will disagree with this saying that I’m free to play during
the week as long as I take the time off from work (and of course this ignores
the fact that I am not in the same income category as “the Donald”).
In the pre-kid days, Saturday and Sunday golf was a predetermined
objective. Assuming 24 weekends
with double round enjoyment, that left only 12 weeks where I could assume a
“business round” during the week. These
days, I’m lucky to get invited to 12 business rounds a year and forget the
weekends. Sundays are reserved for Sunday school for the girls.
Dad has to set an example, so he can’t be on the golf course when the
minister is leading a spiritual revival. Saturdays
are reserved for soccer and since my girls are young, they get assigned the
midday league time which means the day is shot. Just
so I can lay claim to being a golfer, I subscribe to a few golf periodicals (I
also belong to a few golf clubs, but I try to forget that since an ROI on my
membership dues is infinitesimally minute these days given the minimal usage).
Probably my favorite magazine is Links (www.linksmagazine.com).
My reason is simple: the old
standbys like Golf Digest and Golf Magazine aid and abet my guilt
trip of never finding the time to hone my game according to the latest tips from
the pros. “Hit the ball like
Tiger”, “Putt like Jack”, and “Model your short game like Trevino” are
among some of the pithy, but useless articles for folks like me who can’t hit
like any of those guys and aren’t likely to find the time to work out swing
flaws on the practice tee. Links
Magazine takes another tack. It
profiles golf courses and golf personalities from around the U.S. and around the
world. The ads are primarily for
high end, real estate developments and for expensive golf equipment. This is exactly what I’m looking for. Now I can leaf through the magazine and say “well, I
don’t think the Gulfstream will be able to land at that puny airstrip near
that golf course.” Or, “I
played that course with Wino John and if they’ll let us play there, I don’t
want to be a member”. The
May/June issue of Links just came out and I was impressed enough with the
articles to report on them here. There’s
an article on the Pine Crest Inn in Pinehurst, NC.
This one brought tears to my eyes since my wife and I honeymooned in
Pinehurst. The bar at the Pine
Crest is the 19th hole hangout in town for serious golfers and one of
its fixtures is a plywood board placed in the fireplace with the narrowest
opening for anyone intoxicated enough to think that they can chip a golf ball
through that slot. For those of
you, who want to be in the center of all of the action in Pinehurst, visit http://www.pinecrestinnpinehurst.com/pine4.htm
for information on reservations. Another
article in the recent issue profiles Tralee Golf Club in Ireland (www.traleegolfclub.com).
As you may know, I have golfed in Ireland with a group of country club
buddies. This past fall, I
experienced Tralee for the first time. Tralee
is the first course in Europe designed by Arnold Palmer.
Palmer had probably one of the best natural topographies available with
the site. The day we arrived, it
was raining (as usual). I
immediately purchased a Tralee rain hat (Irish style) to avoid ruining my U.S.
rain hat. It was raining so hard,
that we decided not to warm up by hitting a few shots on the range. On the first hole, I pushed my tee shot into the 10th
fairway to the right of that hole (later on, I hooked my tee shot on 10 onto the
1st fairway, so I can say that I didn’t miss either fairway that
day). I don’t remember what I
shot on the first nine that day, but I just remember the guys who had played
there before stating “wait until you see the back nine”. Well, the back nine matched its description.
However, my thrill was in making a birdie on number 12, the number one
handicap hole. Number 12 is a 458
yard par 4. While the length is
nothing to sneeze at, the fairway runs downhill and a good golfer usually hits
something less than driver here to avoid blowing through the fairway and having
his ball land in the old quarry which is at the end of the fairway and to the
left of the elevated green. Laying
up on your tee shot means having a 200 yard second shot to an elevated green
that will play closer to 240 yards if you’re on the left side of the fairway
as I was. However, all the action in our group is with the daily skins
game, so I left conservativism in my bag and struck a 5 wood with authority.
The ball bounced on the front of the green and headed for the back where
the pin was, coming to a rest three feet short of the hole.
One putt later, and I was looking at a net eagle, good for some serious
skin greenbacks. While
there are some more great articles in the May/June issue, I’d like to mention
a few of the products profiled. If
your idea of a wallpaper is a 54 square foot mural of one of your favorite golf
courses (or baseball or football stadiums), you need to visit www.4walls.com.
I personally like the mural of Augusta golf holes.
Futuristic Flushing is the headliner of the product review of the Toto
Neorest toilet (www.totoneorest.com).
For only $5,200 you can have a toilet with a warm-water cleansing unit
with front and back aerated warm-water spray, an oscillating spray massage,
heated seat, automatic catalytic air deodorizer and warm-air dryer.
I fully expect to see one of these in the Wino John Mansion given his
ability to find sponsors who will allow him to sample products for a test
review. This baby looks like the ultimate and who better to test a
crapper than our own WJ. Lastly,
there is an article reviewing the latest in putter technology.
Three putters, The Monster by Parente (www.asertasports.com),
The Money by SeeMore (www.seemore.com),
and the Tracy II by Yes! Golf (www.yesgolf.com),
are profiled. Two of these putters
are $200 each and one is $170 (and yes, WinoJohn, I know that you haven’t
spent that much on your last three sets of clubs, but this is the 21st
century!). Unfortunately, based on
the reviews, I like either the Monster or The Money and those two happen to be
the $200 gems. Maybe I’ll wait to
buy one of them from my friend Ron, the orthodontist, who hasn’t found a new
club that he hasn’t bought for at least a moment in time (Ron usually needs
just a couple dozen new patients a year to feed his equipment habit). The
Ronster is also the brother-in-law of my erstwhile golfing buddy, Wino Phil. Well,
that’s all for now on the golfing front.
I’m hoping that WinoJohn will visit the beach for a few rounds of golf
over the 4th (isn’t that our patriotic duty, WJ?).
We might also taste some wine on the 19th hole (and of course
it will be red!). Wino
Wally |