This page contains Winings
from the 2nd Quarter of the year 2005.
To contact WinoBob, click
June 29, 2005
I had a friend was a big baseball player
Back in high school
He could throw that speedball by you
Make you look like a fool boy
Saw him the other night at this roadside bar
I was walking in, he was walking out
We went back inside sat down had a few drinks
But all he kept talking about was
Glory days well they’ll pass you by
Glory days in the wink of a young girl’s eye
Glory days, glory days
It’s clear Mr. Springsteen skipped phys ed in his limited
high school attendance, as I have never heard the term speedball used in this
context. I think he was mixing his metaphors with his other friend’s hobbies…
Last night, I waxed nostalgic, which is better than waxing
my carrot, and enjoyed a steak, cigar and bottle per person with two of my
oldest high school friends. We divided the responsibilities up, Wino Stan opened
his humidor, Wino-in-training Rich stopped into his cousin’s butcher shop for
the beef and I walked down the stairs and drew out something a bit more than
usual. The Weber performed excellently and the wine flowed, but the highlight
was sitting on the porch, blazing a stogie and talking about the crap we did
growing up. This year we hit a mark where we actually know each other for two
thirds of our life on this planet, and in those many years, we did a lot of
growin' up. Difficult as it seems, I met these guys during the first day of
high school football practice in line waiting for the doctor’s examination. I
guess something bonds you when you're forced to stand in your underwear in the
less than private session of poking the boys and cough ceremony. Our town was
large and we went to different junior high schools, but the town united in 10th
grade as we dropped the rivalry between the north section and the south section
and fought for the common reputation of the town.
The biggest disappointment was reeling off the short list
of other high school friends we have had encounters with in the last five
years. It makes you understand that the summer after graduation, when you still
are electric with the ties that bind, is special, then those ties unravel
quickly and become life as we know it. I need to do this more than once every
five years. It wasn’t a speedball that brought the three of us together, it was
a football, but I am not sure what Mr. Springsteen would define that as. It
really doesn’t matter because that experience defined us and helped us take a
skill set and memories we can take with us to our graves. But for now we
can enjoy them over a lit Dominican and a big ass California Cabernet.
1995 Caymus Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley
I think this one could have been in the
bottle for another two years, as the fruit was playing hide and seek with the
oak trees. More wood nuances than rich cabernet flavors, but they did show
themselves enough to let you know they were there.
The other 2 wines were repeats from earlier postings, so no
use in being redundant.
June 26, 2005
You have heard of mixed metaphors and mixed greens.
Well sometimes I mix my refreshments, and days, and events. So it’s Sunday
night and the temperature is about 99. I am sweltering in this none air
conditioned third floor. You see, they didn’t invent insulation when this house
was built and as this is a not for-profit web site, I cannot afford insulation
or an air conditioner, so my boys are swimming in a pool of sweat on the chair.
The highlight of the weekend was heading to the PNC Center, or the Garden State
Art center, or the amphitheater off exit 116 of the Garden State Parkway, which
ever it is referred to these days. Wino Rocker and the Mrs., got tickets to the
concert some might refer to as the oldies. It was groups I wasn’t old enough to
see when they were popular so I tagged on as a third wheel. The venue was great
and that night the temperature was in the seventies with a constant breeze that
made this open air theater a delight to pretend youth was still on my side. At
the stroke of six, we found our seats and began the magic mystery tour of
reclaiming youth and remembering the times when life was simpler. The audience
was a collection of ex-protesters from the sixties to born-again rockers, to
youth discovering that rock-and-roll never dies. Though thin, the crowd was
alive, though seeing women in their late fifties with leathery skin, and saggy
tats was a bit more than my stomach wanted to handle, the bands progressively
whipped the crowd into a loving, driven, exuberance that sang and danced until
The five groups that played, each grabbing 40 minutes of
stage time, poured their heart and souls into making the less than capacity
crowd feel they got their money's worth. I must admit with shame, I never heard
a Pat Travers song before Friday night, but he warmed us up at the start. The
Yardbirds brought a British invasion feel to the stage and the short song length
and the well dressed fifty something band members delivered a time and place far
from what FM radio has manipulated music to be. Though the third group was a
reunion of the original Vanilla Fudge that split up 35 years ago, I could have
enjoyed Vince Matell’s antics more if he was standing behind the counter at
Dickie Dee’s in Newark asking me if I wanted the works on my Italian Hot Dog.
The Fudge just don’t do it for me as they are mostly a cover band that had their
fifteen minutes. Then John Kay and Steppin' Wolf hit the stage and the mood,
energy and showmanship was raised to a level one expects for the money. He
still has a great presence, voice and style. Closing out the set with Magic
Carpet Ride and into Born to Be Wild was a flash to a generation ago when free
love and war protest was a true counterculture. The night ended with the
Doors, well it was Ray Manzarek, Robby Krieger and a look- and act-alike for Jim
Morrison. They took the crowd, both young and old, and united them in an hour
of beat-driven music and heady words. Once you got past the fact that Ray and
Robbie are sixty something and the Morrison look-a-like was late thirties, they
did make me think I was seven and lucky enough to sneak into the Capitol Theater
in Passaic, NJ to see a live show. The swearing, the drinking, the
brawling and the clouds of pot were all there, and that was just in section 302
of the Art Center. The shit on stage made it more realistic.
It was fun and I guess is fulfilling that void I have of
being born too late for the craze of the 60’s. I’m thinking I might still be
lucky enough to catch Springsteen at the Pony in his wheelchair.
Stick with the white, it is far more refreshing and enjoyable on a hot
night in NJ.
JW Dundee’s Amber Lager -
This native of Rochester, NY is a refreshing, well balanced amber beer,
with a strong backbone, but not too over bearing on a hot, humid tailgating
June 22, 2005
As you know, WJ and I spend our time away from this
site in the world of technology and silicon, though neither of us do breast
augmentations, and its true, WJ is much more the techno-dweeb than I.
I love technology, from the flat screen TV to the handheld GPS.
If there is a new gadget, I want to know.
But, Winos and Winettes, I think I may have seen the first of
technology gone awry. Actually,
technology, in some folk’s hands has gone awry long ago, but today, I
stopped into a hotel lobby near one of my customers for a bio-break and a
hot cup of coffee. The sign on
the men’s room door said it all, “The use of cellular phones is
prohibited in the restroom.” No
shit Batman. But as I laughed
to myself, I can honestly say I have heard many a man perched behind the
swinging gray metal door, chatting away on their cell phones as the sounds
of mating humpback whales and barking spiders erupt in the tile-clad room.
What must the person on the other end of that beamed signal be
thinking is going on in the background?
And how important is that call that one feels the need to answer the
phone in a less than dignified area, or dare I think, the man was sitting
there thinking he hasn’t spoken with his mom in awhile, so this might be a
good time to give her a ring. Hell,
I have some time to spare, “Hello, mom, I was just thinking about
Technology has many great applications in our daily
lives and I am continually amazed at the exciting new products that keep
popping up. In the wine market
alone, they have electronic gadgets that age that new wine in seconds,
digital temperature and humidity regulators, wiz-bang cork screws and
software to track every wine in your massive collection.
Technology has extended the average life span of humans, while
technology can precisely shorten the life span of an enemy, but in our cars
and homes we can reap the benefits of the IC.
However, please back off a bit on the need to fill every moment of
your waking life with the cell phone. I
know they banned them in many restaurants, but the Sheraton in Parsippany is
the first I know of to ban the cell phone in the restroom.
2003 Jacobs Creek Shiraz
A fun wine with dark fruit and plum flavors and a touch of spice on
the finish. Not as lengthy as
their Reserve, but a good grilling companion.
June 19, 2005
Just a quick note on a special day to wish my father a
Happy Father’s Day. A twice
survivor of cancer, I am glad I will be sharing a portion of today with him.
To my fellow Winos, enjoy the day of days when you can
leave the toilet seat up, use the floor as a hamper, drink from the carton
in the refrigerator and lie on the couch all day, being served food and
drink with total command of the remote.
Enjoy it, as tomorrow and the other 364 days of the year will be a
constant frenzy of do this, why didn’t you do that, get off the couch you
lazy good for nothing dog… sorry.
Next year I will be petitioning Hallmark to move the
man made holiday to Saturday so I can get my drunk on and have a day to
recover before heading back to the salt mines…
2003 Yvecourt Bordeaux Rouge
No I did not buy this one, and if I see it in a store, I will be
avoiding it. Little fruit, no
wood and a harsh finish, for those that enjoy that in a glass of wine, you
can buy a case.
June 15, 2005
Every so often I need to file, delete, or forward the
plethora of emails I get. Sometimes,
one or more fall through the cracks. I
recently found this picture from "Wino Paul and Wino Bob’s Excellent
Adventure around the Star’s homes in Beverly Hills."
Afterwards we headed to Hollywood and did the whole tourist thing
there. No trip to Hollywood is
complete until you find your favorite Star on Hollywood Blvd.
Though this is not my favorite and is somewhere south of Mom’s
Mabley and the kid that played Dwayne on “What’s Happening”
2003 HRM Rex Goliath "47 Pound Rooster" Central Coast
"Free Range" Cabernet Sauvignon $
HRM Rex Goliath is a second label owned and produced by, Hahn
Estates. Interestingly, HRM stands for His Royal Majesty, and is a reference
to the colorful 47 pound rooster depicted on the label. The jokes are just
welling inside as I type this, but I will keep it clean.
Black cherry, currant and a hint of caramel make this a fun wine for
less than ten dollars.
one, come all to the show that never ends
Annual Grill and Chill party to kick-off the
summer (Also BB’s b-day party!)
June 26th at 3pm
crisp, palate-cleansing beers
ripe, robust reds from tip top Piedmontese producers
platters of grilled meats and sizzling sausages
salads and summer sides
per person complete
7 GROVE ST. WANAQUE, NJ
think all Wino’s and Winettes should come.
Check or cash only…
June 12, 2005
Well it appears that Wino John has returned safely from
his Asian "sex junket and outsourcing our kid’s future"
conference in China. I see the
locals offered plenty of China Red as he toured the modern electronics
contracting for a dollar-a-day factory/ happy-ending brothel.
What a country. I, on
the other hand (not the thirteen year old, bony finger, Asian happy-ending
hand, just the expression here in the USA), had the occasion to see both
sides of life this weekend. Friday
evening, we did some celebrating with the local Winos and Winettes as the
neighborhood was abuzz with great moments in the lives of many.
There was a wedding and numerous graduations, and the announcement of
a new addition to the ever expanding WinoStuff universe.
As things are early in the game, I will only say if the kid has the
constitution of its parents, Wino Rocker and Wino Jim and Maggie will be
fighting three more for the couch at 4 in the morning.
We have had several late night, "more bottles than bodies"
events, and we wish them well. Let’s
say the happiness that flowed in and out of the house on Friday was special,
and I had to reach into the cellar for something other than an everyday
bottle. Actually it turned out
to be two bottles of more than an everyday drinker for me.
But the circle of life deserves something to remember.
As the months move forward and the great occasion of birth for this
couple arrives, I am sure I will be announcing the fact that they will honor
me by naming me the Godfather of this new Wino/Winette, especially since
chances are strong this one may be born on my birthday.
No pressure guys, but Uncle Wino Bob is here to ensure your new child
will grow up with all the right schooling and training to become the best
Wino/Winette in town. I’m
sure after a year with me, the child will be stumbling home at midnight with
cab sauv in its bottle and a full diaper.
On a sad note, our community lost a parent this weekend
to a sudden heart attack. He was only 42 and has three children.
I had the honor and privilege to participate in a very special
service for him. Though he was
not a WinoStuff guy, I knew him through community activities.
Eight years ago he almost died in an accident at work, and he was
given a second chance. What he
did with those subsequent years was touch the hearts and souls of hundreds
of people in the community. The
show of youth at his service was something the likes of which I have never
witnessed. He was a special
person to the families and friends in the area and his giving ways and broad
smile will be missed by all. I
am a better person for knowing him and my sincerest sympathy goes to his
wife and three children. Your
dad was a special man.
1995 Chateau St. Jean Cinq Cepage Sonoma County
The oak and chocolate aromas
rise from the glass and greet your senses. Black
fruit and defined structure of tannins give the wine a body and weight that
makes this a wine for special times.
1995 Jordan Cabernet Sauvignon Alexander Valley
A nicely crafted wine with
rich color, blackberry, dark cherry and brown spice that delivers a lengthy
June 7, 2005
And here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson, heaven holds a place for
those who pray; hey, hey, hey….
My teenage fantasy was finally crushed today with the news
of Ann Bancroft’s death. The Graduate has been a hope, a dream,
and anthem for my misspent youth and now, at age 73, the seductress of poor,
naive Benjamin Braddock has swirled her last bourbon, puffed her last cigarette
and seduced her last college-aged track star. Just when my chances were getting
good that one day, the aging Ms. Bancroft and I would finally meet for a drink
in a hotel bar and replay the scene above, she is gone. God rest her soul.
I take a moment of silence to honor her and stifle the many
cruel jokes that flash inside my wicked mind. Like, with my luck, at 73,
when we were doing it, she might break her hip. How embarrassing would
that be if I had to call 911 and get her to the emergency room?
No, that movie is too special to me for anything low brow
Speaking of low brow and tasteless, Wino Rocker stopped
over last night and I thanked him for his help with a project by opening a nice
bottle of red, albeit a merlot. It wasn’t just any merlot, it was a special
bottle given to me by Big Bob.
So here’s to you Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than
you will know…
1999 Plaisir de Merle Merlot
A rich jammy wine with blackberry and plum flavors and a sweet vanilla
scent on the bouquet. A well tailored wine from a great region in South Africa.
June 5, 2005
I almost feel like a celebrity when I head out to dinner on
a Saturday night. With no reservations, in the usual hour-wait places, it is
immediate seating at a table with a view, only to turn back and see a half full
restaurant. I do not know how these places survive in the land of the
shore-home elite. Prior to eating locally, I drove past Bacchus and for the
first time I can remember, there was not a valet crew manning the parking lot.
At 7 pm, their lot was less than one third full. I guess I need to get out of
town and head to the sun and sand and crowds and hour waits and traffic and….or
maybe I’ll just stay in town and have a nice meal at a slow pace with no wait.
2003 Reynolds Vineyards New South Wales Chardonnay
I like this style of buttery, oaky chardonnay with rich tropical fruit
flavors and vanilla on the finish. A great value for this chard that drinks
bigger than its price and satisfies the big white style.
June 4, 2005
Well, my ego has been soothed by a small dose of ointment.
Yes, there are still some people who value the Wino Bob email address. Checking
in from the Burgundy region of France to let me know what the spring in the
Pinot properties was like. It seems this global warming thing has Burgundy and
NJ suffering from wet, cool weather with average temperatures well below
normal. Damn you, Al Gore, you took the CFCs away from us and now our grapes
will be tastelessly swelled and under ripened. It seems that the Chardonnay
vines are ahead of schedule which leads me to believe less tropical fruit and
more veggie flavors haunting the overly expensive white Burgundies.
So maybe the New World, chic, boutique wine babes don’t
value the mojo of Wino Bob, its OK. I would much rather communicate with the
legendary, talented and dare I say Wino Babe-esque, Veronique Drouhin. She
happened to be in Beaune this week and will be heading to Oregon shortly.
Interestingly enough, let me predict the weather in the North West, ah... cool
and damp. Now I’ll wait for her email next month and see if I was correct.
I don’t drink a great deal of Pinot Noir as you know, but
this month, I did get one in the wine of the month delivery.
2003 Castle Rock Monterey County Pinot Noir
A rich ruby red color and the nose of earth and spice, but the cherry
flavors seem under cut by the wood and an abrupt finish.
June 3, 2005
Just when I thought the 'Wino Bob' name was carrying a
volume of cache, I got slapped back to reality. I recently was doing scientific
research, late at night, on the internet, and came across a boutique wine I
haven’t seen in NJ. Doing as I often do, I clicked on the contact link and
inquired if their wine is sold in NJ. As you are well aware, I buy what I
review. This one was an under twenty dollar Cabernet that I figured would
make an interesting entry. Politely I asked where in NJ I could purchase a
bottle so I can review it for our screamingly popular wine web site. I’m Wino
Bob, damn it, you want press from me….
Feeling like my junior high days all over again, I was
rejected by info@, which I am assuming goes directly to either Barbara or Jeff.
The wine web site didn’t have a great deal of background information or much on
the owners, except for the names Barbara and Jeff (owners). So who is the
latest to reject my advances, well it is Cleavage Creek Cellars in Sonoma
California. Now I know what you’re thinking, Wino Bob, you saw the picture of
the cute blond and wanted to use your mojo to make a hot blond that owns a
winery connection to serve your most basal needs. OK, yeah, but, I was
interested in her mind, and the fact that they are donating 10% from the
purchase of each wine bottle to breast cancer research. You know how I have an
attraction to those products and processes that make the breasts of the world
healthier, and happier. The site states that Barbara’s mother is a breast
cancer survivor and that is why she and Jeff came out with this offering. So
successful was their 2003 release, the Napa Wine Train has added their winery to
Not from their site, nor having anything to do with
Cleavage Creek, but rather for the enjoyment of the crowd, I offer this picture
Thank God, someone is out their caring for the breasts of America.
Now if anyone has tried the wine, or knows if it is
available in NJ, I am still in search of…
Note to Cleavage Creek, rejecting me like Sarah Pennopscott
did in my fourth grade class will have me egging your house on mischief night
June 1, 2005
Communications from the other side of the world indicate
that the wireless network allows for web site updates for another day. This
will be quick and this will deal directly with wine. Business dinner at Bacchus
had Jimmy showing me something new in their offering, a Priorat. Yes, an
inky, jammy, Priorat wine. Wow, what a nice example of the power and beauty
from this region in Spain. Now if Wino John is not tending to the thirteen year
old, dollar-a-day, job-stealing masses, he can post this up before heading to
the 500 BC part of the country.
2000 Finca La Planeta Pasanau
$$$ (55.00 rest.)
Plenty to chew on here with black cherry flavors, plum, raisin dark
chocolate and espresso thick and rich on the palate and a long finish. Not for
the weak of palate.
May 31, 2005
How depressing, not the fact that Wino John is jetting off
to funnel more manufacturing jobs from NJ to the dollar-a-week, thirteen year
old girls in China or the fact that Wino Wally has been summoned to France to
head off the magnum wielding wine resistance, but rather the fact that I have to
learn about it from reading the web site. So depressed was I that I grilled my
lone hot dog and sat on the porch all afternoon, enjoying the beautiful NJ
weather, thinking about the next great novel or movie I can pen. Then the news
of France’s veto of the EU constitution had me thinking. Wino Wally will
be moving to a different part of France to negotiate this week. Me thinks the
remaining countries that were still buying French wine may be looking elsewhere
after this. Let’s see how a big ass California cabernet goes with Welsch
rabbit, or blood pudding, or kidney pie.
So I sat enjoying the day, not having to jet anywhere, not
trying to figure out the global economy thing or how to make more for less on
the bony little fingers of corporately enslaved youth. No, I just simply opened
a bottle of sub-ten dollar red and thought about why I am not in international
business, or top secret negotiations. Maybe there’s a storyline that Hollywood
might be interested in about a depressed, unproductive wino who sits on his
porch in the summer and drinks wine all day. No, now that I think about it, the
copyright on that story belongs to Paris….
2000 Markham Vineyards Glass Mountain Quarry Syrah
For wood lovers, this one is a winner. There is a chewy, jammy fruit
base to this wine with hints of chocolate and tobacco. I like this one as a
warm up, or to hang with my grill.
May 28, 2005
Its official, today marks the beginning of the have-nots
getting better parking spots. Yes,
the season of second home living has created a ghost town out of…this
town. After a hard day of
scraping and painting, I decided to run downtown to the diner and grab a
quick dinner to bring home. At
7 pm, I got a spot third from the door.
Incredible for a Saturday evening in the winter, but summer time
finds this place vacant, except for the second-homeless.
Yes, deprived of a second home at the New Jersey shore, I am stuck in
town. Finding the golden lining
in the otherwise depressingly dark cloud, I now can make it to the diner,
Costas and back within six and a half minutes.
I bet they can’t do that in Point Pleasant tonight.
No, the season of ocean birds is upon us and I find myself sitting
next to the recently-developed puddle from the passing storm, eating a
turkey burger with swiss and drinking a glass of red.
I guess the upside is that I won’t have a nasty
sunburn on Tuesday and I won’t be fighting the Monday night mayhem trying
to get back to the world of the second-homeless.
Happy Memorial Day weekend. Thank you to the men
and women who have served our country proudly, and a heartfelt thanks to the
families whose fathers, or sons, or daughters, or sister or aunts, or uncles
have given their lives in the call of duty.
You have served with honor and the greatest of thanks should come
from each and everyone of us that walk the towns and cities of this great
God Bless America.
2003 Ca’ntele Primitivo
Be prepared as this one starts out harsh and takes some time to
loosen up. Unfortunately, once
loose, there isn’t a whole lot to it.
A disappointing wine.
May 27, 2005
Touching down at Newark Liberty Airport usually has me
doing 'the worm', that slithering move to beat out just one person in front
of you as you’re awaiting the opening of the door.
I am often greeted by the pungent odor of the Budweiser plant across
the road, brewing a new born-on date. But
last night was different. It was the first time in a great while that
my move to get off the plane was not rushed. "Why", you ask? I thank you for asking.
Yesterday, I had several additional hours to burn as the Jersey
weather delayed my departure from O’Hare, so I wondered around hunting for
things to pass the time. For
some reason, I did something unusual, I purchased a book, a book that I had
not heard of, nor did I recognize the author.
This should not offend the author, as I am so caught up in myself
that I recognize few best-selling books or authors.
With the skepticism of a Jersey longshoreman, I sat at the bar and
opened my new road map to success.
Five hours later, as the wheels of our 737 touched the
outside runway at NLA, I was hoping our taxi to the gate would afford me the
time to finish the chapter I was reading.
Most times I grab a book and hear things I have heard before, so I
skim through or speed read the first sentences in each chapter to move it
along. This time, I was
absorbed in the process. I was reading something fresh and new to me. I do have to qualify the fact that many of you may be light
years ahead on the business book reading list, but this one punched me in
the gut. As I read, I felt the
uncomfortable feeling in my stomach that I waited way too long in my life
and career to implement the concepts this author explained.
Why didn’t I have this one 20 years ago> It could have
made a big difference, so I hope.
I grew up very independent. To this day, the
images of John Wayne, the song Like a Rock by Bob Seger, and
the romantic vision of Rugged Individualism define my business life.
However, the premise and anecdotes in this book have me rethinking my
life and actually reacting to a new approach.
This is not Oprah’s book-of-the-month club, nor am I
here to do a full review. I just offer a suggestion to the business
winos out there that find themselves on planes and in hotel rooms looking
for something to occupy your time other than the lobby bar or Spankervision®.
The book was a quick read as the topic and life experiences of Keith
Ferrazzi played out. The book
is titled, Never Eat Alone :
And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time,
and it hit me in the soft, doughy
underbelly. I do not know Mr.
Ferrazzi, nor do I have a stake in the publisher. I just found a great
deal of sound advice that made sense, contrary to my personal philosophy.
In a cheap attempt to gain a small something, you can click to Amazon
from our home page to order the book, but it’s your choice.
2001 Kenwood Sonoma County Cabernet Sauvignon (9.00
a glass) The currant and spice sometimes deliver more than the fruit, but for
a companion to a book at an airport, this one isn’t too bad.
May 23, 2005
I knew it would come to me, well, actually, I knew I
would find the paper that reminded me what the third wine we drank at the
restaurant Saturday night.
As an addition to yesterday’s entry and to prove to
Wino Jim that I did enjoy the wine, even if it was a pinot, I offer the
2001 Sarah’s Vineyard Estate Reserve Pinot Noir
Plenty of cherry flavors and a touch of smoke fill the glass with a
hint of wood on the finish.
May 22, 2005
When did Haight Ashbury move to NJ?
Late night folk music, copious quantities of mood-altering substances
(OK, its really just wine) and blatant disregard for conventional time,
dude, did someone rewind my life to August 1968?
For the first time in a long time,
more empty wine bottles than bodies, late night music fest and the
traditional group sing-a-long was not conducted by Wino Rocker, but rather
the Clark Kent hippie, Wino Jim. Yes,
lurking just beneath the Brooks Brother’s attire and ex-marine exterior is
a guitar picking balladeer and full fledged Wino, and I say that in the
sincerest of terms. At the end
of dinner last night, we were having too much fun to just head out and there
was a stash of wine awaiting, so we headed back to the homestead and broke
out the instrument of choice after the clock turns to a new day.
The best thing about the evening was that, unlike Wino Rocker, Wino
Jim and Winette Maggie head home. Somehow
I just cannot get WR to understand me when I say, “It's three in the
morning, get the f*&^ out of my house.”
He just chuckles and passes out on the couch.
For the guy who once told me he didn’t really drink
wine because you have to learn too much, he gave us a lesson in value wines.
Wino Jim found a sleeper; an undervalued California Cabernet that for
a 2002 vintage was a nice offering and a price that one day soon will be the
change back from your twenty instead of the cost.
We enjoyed three newbies, but only two I actually remember at this
point. I will review the third
when I locate the paper I jotted the name on at the restaurant.
It was a pinot that presented well.
As for today’s entry, I will limit it to the two I located in my
gray matter. The Cabernet he brought will soon be creeping up the price
chart as more people look for this one.
I actually heard the words of my wine guru, Kevin Zraly, come out of
Wino Jim as he described why he liked this bottle, “It drinks like a more
expensive bottle than what I paid.” Bingo,
Winostuff magic phrase, where’s the duck, (quack, quack)? Where’s Groucho? Is
Groucho ducking me? You bet
2003 El Portillo Sauvignon Blanc
This is all grapefruit slices
and a refreshing crisp finish, but this Argentinean is missing some of the
more interesting flavors of the NZ SB.
A good summer Saturday wine.
2003 Graffiti Vineyards Cabernet Sauvignon
Yes, that is a great
price for any wine, but a cabernet from California is not usually associated
with it. Anise on the nose greets this black fruit beverage with a
smooth finish. The label is
unique with its art work reminiscent of the wall art you see from the FDR
Drive, though that one has the words “Crack is Wack” in orange spray
paint. Great job, Wino Jim, for
unearthing this diamond in the rough.
May 17, 2005
I learned early in life that people don’t really want
to hear you bitch and when people ask you how you are, they don’t really
want to know. So I do not want
to sound like I’m bitching, but I merely want to explain.
The geek job had me racing from BWI airport to Newark Liberty heading
from one commitment to another. The
only reason I bring this up is that I did manage to stuff the free USA
Today in my suitcase and read it on the airplane ride from NJ to
Milwaukee. Yes, the less-than-exciting
and overly-tired Milwaukee is the annual site for a trade show I must
attend. The bright side of the
less than bright side is that the business section of the free rag had an
explanation of the recent 5-4 decision of the Supreme Court regarding wine
shipments. Now I do not want to
shake Wino Wally’s World by writing about a sacred structure, but since
Clarence Thomas was a dissenter, I stand firmly behind Judge Kennedy.
Now I’m not a lawyer, though I play one on TV, so my
interpretation of the article in USA Today is strictly my interpretation.
Unlike Mitch, Tuesday’s with Morrie Albom, we here at WinoStuff
like to source our made up opinions and fake, unresearched news sources.
Way to go Detroit Free Press, after all your years in business and
the many prize winning journalists, you just realized if you use a source,
you must give that source credit. Thank
God the process was so rampant, the chief editor could not take action
against just one writer as all writers for the said rag paper have been
doing it for years. Newsday can use unnamed sourced to make up fake stories, Dan
Rather rests his career on phony documents, and the Detroit Free Press
doesn’t know the word plagiarism. And
they whine about Fox. Does a
false accusation about someone the liberal press has it in for justify the
lack of credible evidence they offer?
Why don’t you at least credit the story to Curve Ball. I digress….
I know Wino Wally is placing orders with Screaming
Eagle as we speak, but the way I read the decision from the court is that
states now have the ability to define their position on out of state
shipments in several ways. The
simplest is that a state which allows in-state wineries to ship directly to
a consumer cannot prohibit an out of state winery from shipping to that
consumer. However, if any of
the 17 states that do not allow in state shipment so chose, they can still
prohibit out of state shipments. And
worst of all, states may choose to reverse in state shipments and not allow
out of state shipments. What it
seems is this ruling wants consistency, but does not open all states to
If I didn’t know any better, I would say it is very
Rumsfellian in interpretation, as in his statement, “There are things we
know we know and there are things we know we don’t know, but it is the
things we don’t know we don’t know that are most concerning.”
As of today, we know we have a ruling, but the ruling
does not mean that all states will ship intra- and inter-state. This
will now set the stage for TV lawyers like me to take up the case, state by
state and resolve all 27 states that have either a "ship out only"
or "no shipments whatsoever", to battle this out in court.
Bottom line, more lawyers get rich while us little guys
2002 House of Nobilo Icon Sauvignon Blanc
$ (10.00 per glass restaurant)
Though this hails from NZ, it lacks the qualities of citrus and
gooseberry one comes to appreciate.
2001 Hill of Content Shiraz/Grenache Clare Valley
$ (11.00 per glass restaurant)
A solid fruit and spice glass full of liquid fun.
May 16, 2005
No locusts. No. the sky is clear. The
snowball happens to still be in the arctic and not in hell. The
steeple is still at the top of St. Aloysius Church and the earth is still
spinning clockwise. So how in the name of Christ on a cracker did all
the planet’s align? In what could only be described as sheer tectonic plate
collision, our schedule and their schedule and the other their schedule
happened to find a day when enjoying dinner and wine would find the six of
us around the same table. The
Big’s hosted a glass of wine on their terrestrial expanse where our arrival
found Big Bob sitting on his newest toy contemplating the photosynthetic
process. Now he can tool about in all types of weather and all types
of terrain. The fun and
festivities began when Wino John’s swank Euro car rolled up in the
football field of a driveway of the Big’s.
From that moment forward, the wine and laughs flowed from foil to
After a few quick starters at the Big’s, we drove the
.4 miles to Berta’s Chateau, or should I say Big Bob’s home away from
home, though it is less away from his home than my home away from home at
Bacchus used to be. As the
Big’s are like family, the entire staff and Peter the executive chef and
owner pleasantly greeted us, and the parade of food and wine began in
earnest. At one point, I
looked over and it seemed Big Bob was the Queen Bee, our table the hive and
multitudes of worker bees were flying around our table delivering the
nectars of nutrition and life one upon the next.
The food was delicious, the wines were engulfing and the conversation
was pleasantly powdered with puns and politics.
I found out that Peter is a big Comedy Central fan and enjoys the now
frightened by success, Dave Chappelle.
The highlight of the evening, in addition to Wino John
actually clearing his extremely important executive agenda to accommodate a
lowly dinner with the field hands, was a bottle of 1958 Barolo that Big Bob
happened upon on one of his visits to a wine store in the Garden State.
What a job this guy has, having to find yourself at 10am hip deep in
wine bottles, or hosting a multi-course meal with wines to highlight each
dish. Poor guy, how does he
survive such a grueling schedule?
At one point the main course dishes had to be cleared
as wine glasses stacked up in front of each of us like planes into LaGuardia
at 5pm. The 1958, a bit wounded
at the beginning, showed strength and spirit as it offered up its last
breath of fruit and heartbeat. Intriguing,
the color well faded, the fruit clinging to the branch like a late fall
soldier, the wine provided a journey back 47 years to represent the craft
and energy of an Italian wine maker. It
was a first for me.
Several of the glasses sitting in front of me contained
2003 Kofererhof Muller thurgau Alto Adige Valle
Isarco- a pleasant summer white that drinks easy and refreshing.
2002 Les Terresas- a Priorat I highly regard for
its fruit offerings and humble pricing from this region.
Luigi Pira Le Ombre Nebbiolo Langhe- a powerful
red that plays well with a robust Italian meal of veal with porcini mushroom
reduction, or a zesty meat sauce. A
special offering of Big Bob’s favorites.
Louis Dressner Vin Mousseux Rose demi sac- a
fizzly refreshing rose for an after dinner aperitif sorbertesque in
The evening ended too quickly, but there was some
special show on WABC that Wino John had to run home and see, so he lit the
afterburners on the batmobile and headed to that secluded entrance of the
Wino John Estate that only he, and his side kick, the Mrs., and Alfred his
thin and neat house man servant know how to find.
All nine planets will align before the next time the six of us can
enjoy an evening of friendship, wine and food, but at least this one event
can be moved off the list. Holy
Crap Marie, was that a locust I just saw land in the yard???
Friday the thirteenth, not from the superstition angle, rather from the
“ball of confusion” my head was in from the large volume of wine with BB
and WJ. In between thumps in my
head, I tried to remember if I indeed hit the send button Thursday
night/Friday morning. Fighting
to think about what I typed or worse yet, what gibberish Wino John would be
contending with as I tried to write up a review on two of the four wines we
enjoyed. Further to my
confusion, I saw a day old newspaper with a headline reading, “Prez Bush
in Georgia Congratulates citizens on their Independence”.
Christ, did the south finally secede?
I know the rebels hold a feeling in their hearts that one day the
South will rise again and we will go back to the Blue/Gray war that nearly
tore this fledgling nation apart. Thank
God the article next to it mentioned President Bush being in the former USSR
and it was that Georgia, not this Georgia, he was speaking to.
Those Texans are full of piss and vinegar and you never quite know
what cards they have in the hole.
Having nothing to do
with our dinner, but everything to do with the hair of the dog, I stopped in
Bacchus last night. To my utter amazement and partial concern, at 9PM, there
were less than 20 people in the dining room and a handful in the bar area
listening to the band play the best of the 50’s.
If the groupies for said band were not there, the place might have
been considered sparse. The
Memorial Day weekend has not yet arrived, when the wealthy in the area
normally head to their shore homes, and the place is looking like Fourth of
July weekend. Not a good sign
for the future of the place. If
things remain like this, I would be hard pressed to understand how they will
remain in business.
Getting to more
important things, like the remaining two bottles from Thursday night dinner,
we finished off these two.
Pio Cesare Barolo $$ (40.00-ish)
garnet colored wine with nicely balanced acidity, with red fruits and a hint
of brown spice and cedar. A
handsomely crafted wine.
Trapiche Iscay $$
blend of Merlot and the now famous Malbec from the Mendoza region of
Argentina. Mellow tannins and
dark fruits play over this wine and a firm finish keeps you tasting your
think the saying is, “If you run with the Big Dogs, you have to shit in
the tall grass”. I do not
exactly know what that means, but I can attest to the fact that I did run
with the big dogs, or at least drank with the big dogs.
If shitting in the tall grass means expelling the content of your
stomach then I am in, but if it means something else, I plead ignorance.
After a month of social diarrhea,
we finally found a night when Wino John was not cutting a global
deal, and Big Bob was not hosting a prestigious wine dinner and I was not...
ah... I was not... uhhh, I was not in the third floor, dank, dark room
wanting to be alone.
we ate in a local Italian, BYOB, what else.
Big Bob selected the place and it was one of the many
Soprano-featured places and the food isn’t bad and, as a BYOB, we could
drink till we had nothing left to consume.
am splitting this in two entries, as I cannot think clearly enough to review
all four wines tonight and Real Sex 407 is on in twelve minutes.
What else does one have to look forward to on TV if Real Sex Thursday
night were to stop? I guess I
wouldn’t know what real love is all about without HBO telling me.
gratuitous reasons, I will post the two wines I brought to dinner. The
Wino John contributions will be added tomorrow, after my head stops hurting
and Real Sex is over.
Cesari Mara Ripasso $ (13.99)
Ripasso goes, this one lacked the sweetness and fig, ripe plum flavors I was
looking for. I will consider
this a bust wine on the night and can offer many that would deliver what is
Gaja Promis Ca' Marcanda $$ (39.00)
This is but a glimpse of what the Gaja name can mean and it was enjoyable in
its simplest form. A blend of
Merlot, Syrah and Sangiovese, this wine had a great fruit offering and a
silky smooth finish.
May 8, 2005
The human body works in strange ways and this past
week, mine was working in the head cold strange way. I hate head colds for many reasons, the most of which
is that I have not been taking the vitamins I used to.
I find if my body has the building blocks to repair the damage I
inflict on it on a daily basis, I rarely get a head cold. When I do, I am a bear, moping around with tissues jammed in
each nasal cavity trying to make it through a single task without leaking on
something, or someone. It made
me think about how our bodies can produce so much liquid at the drop of a
hat. This body of ours is
amazing when you think about it. Where
does a river of mucous come from, then suddenly stop and what couldn’t the
body do since it was spending time as a mucous factory?
It appears that from nowhere, tissue upon tissue can be filled with a
substance that yesterday was nowhere to be found.
But the worst part is that the coating masks my ability to discern
flavors through my olfactory sense. Damn
At this point, I am basically drinking to get drunk,
which is not as fun with a sinus headache and liquid that tastes like...,
nothing. Today, the Mother of
Days, was the first time in almost a week, I have had the desire or need to
consume. I performed my sonly
duties the first six hours of the day with an hour and forty five minute
visit to the new old homestead. Not
much of a spring and the bay breeze is too cold to carry the sparkling salt
sea air I love to ingest. They
say it cures whooping cough. With
the rest of the time spent on the Garden State Parkway, my tired ass just
wanted to veg out in front of the tube and open a red wine to suck out all
there is in the liquid grape, the fruit, the barrel, the nuanced tones, the
violet color, the alcohol, yes, the heady, lighter than air component that
separates this from the Larry King Welch’s Grape Juice pitch. I wanted it
all, and with a half mucous-coated throat, I got half of it.
Actually, I got all the alcohol and some of the bouquet and flavors,
but after a six day dry spell, I’ll take what is offered up.
Knowing there was not the ability for me to get it all, I opened a
wine I thought was my credo for this day, this month, this year.
The Argentinean Malbec carries the name Tamari and in the native
tongue of the village people (not the gay 80’s band but the village people
of the Mendoza region that speak the indigenous language of Huarpe), the
word loosely translates to mean “gusto, or doing something with a
As my mucous membranes worked this week with a passion,
I decided that I would drink today, with a passion. So fittingly, I
selected a Malbec with a passion.
Speaking of passion, I have read and heard stories of
women passionate about their “rabbit”.
I believe my friend and drinking buddy, Wino Lou loves his
“rabbit”. But it wasn’t
until today that I found out Wino Lou’s “rabbit” is a cork screw and
the woman’s “rabbit” has everything to do with screw, but nothing to
do with cork. So thank God,
when I finally took a Christmas present from my brother’s family out of
the closet, it was a “rabbit” wine bottle opening implement.
The thing worked great, but I feel embarrassed that I have to go and
return the batteries I purchased. Silly
“rabbit” tricks are for lonely old men that spend most of their time in
a dark, dank third floor room because Hunt’s Point love is better than
2003 Tamari Reserva Malbec
A solid example of why I love Mendoza.
A red-violet color brings dark fruit flavors and the French oak
delivers a toffee, vanilla nose. Good
structure, firm tannins and a nice pleasurable finish.
May 2, 2005
I actually viewed myself with disapproval about an hour
ago. Its not often I do
something that I find myself regretting later, except for a handful of
youthful indiscretions and that one fat chick in college, but I was really
drunk, no, drunk much beyond the points I reach today. Upon returning from
the first of several marathon days on the road for Geekdom, I rolled into
the driveway 14 hours after rolling out this morning and I headed for my
Fred McMurray pipe and slippers. Actually
it was the semi-dirty pair of gym socks peaking out from under the bed, but
they were a welcome change from the cramped business shoes. After throwing on my favorite Levis, I reached over and
gulped down the swirl in the glass on the table next to the bed.
It really wasn’t swirl; it was the unconsumed portion of wine
leftover when I fell gently to sleep in front of the tube.
I had a long day behind the wheel during my trip to Maryland so I
needed a decompressor. Too
tired for the walk back downstairs, it just made more sense to drink what
was available. Then the fact that this wine was a gift from Big Bob, one who
coddles his Burgundies like a newborn, made me think I broke some French law
or at least a Big Bob rule of fine wine appreciation.
I officially realized about an hour after I did that,
that it was wrong, and as a wine web professional, I must tell you that it
is wrong to drink a half consumed glass of wine left out all night on the
table next to the place you passed out.
I repeat, don’t do as I do, do as I say.
There, now I feel like a responsible journalist.
Yesterday was a nice night, so I cracked open the
grill, marinated a London broil and grabbed a bottle from the basement.
The bottled I grabbed was one Big Bob gave me in December. Yes,
Sideways fans, it was a Pinot. The wine struggled a bit with my grilled meat but a glass or
two or three held its own against Deadwood.
I just thought of a wine name for Wino John’s article
on old rock bands and wine labels, Cream Sherry.
No, never mind, too subtle.
2002 Joseph Drouhin
A mildly amusing wine with
touches of raspberry, nice acidity and a plain finish, not strong enough for
the grilled beef but a noteworthy bedside manner.
April 27, 2005
wine, I think of you all the time
Imbibed, you journey through my spine
Helping me alter my state of mind
Thinking my life is just fine
If I were Calvin Trillon, I would
have just been paid $100.00 for that thing.
Flipping through the dial this afternoon, I heard Al Franken attempt
to interview Mr. Trillon. Cal
spends his time elevating political commentary (mostly bashing republicans)
in the form of poems and he has a new book out.
The difficulty I had with the interview is that Al Franken spends
more time telling you what the guest should be saying, like the kid who
knows the answer and must blurt it out before the teacher can explain it, he
steps all over his guest. I get
the feeling Mr. Franken spent a great deal of time inside a locker, courtesy
of a football player in retribution for Al reminding the English teacher she
forgot to assign homework over the Christmas break.
If anyone has a school picture of the aforementioned AF, please send
it to me, especially the one of him in his black socks and sneakers.
Attached is a transcript from one of his speeches to the National
Press Club, I know I have difficulty expressing myself, but can someone tell
me what he is trying to say.
MS. HILLGREN: Who is the
funniest conservative and who is the funniest liberal?
MR. FRANKEN: Wow! The funniest conservative -- well, P.J. O'Roarke (sp) is
funny, and maybe the funniest conservative.
The funniest liberal -- Michael Moore is very funny, Calvin Trillon (sp),
who I consider a liberal. I think most people are liberal, by the way.
(Laughter.) I think basically you're either a liberal or a Social
Darwinist -- (laughter) -- so I think that most Americans -- this is a
word that gets thrown around. Liberal means you believe in, oh, things
like, you know, Social Security and Medicare and a safety net, and that
the government can actually, you know -- and education and the environment
-- (laughter) -- no, that -- you know, that the corporate interests can --
will pollute things unless the government steps in. So I think most
Americans -- I think liberal is a mainstream position, so I think the
funniest liberal is Garry Shandling because he's very funny, and he's just
a funny American. (Laughter.)
1996 Federal Information Systems Corporation
Federal News Service
15, 1996, TUESDAY
MAJOR LEADER SPECIAL TRANSCRIPT
LENGTH: 8194 words
HEADLINE: NATIONAL PRESS CLUB
COMEDIAN AND AUTHOR AL FRANKEN
NATIONAL PRESS CLUB BALLROOM
Wow, what in the hell did he
just say? Maybe AF is a wino rambler like myself.
It seems like he cannot complete a thought before he begins another.
No wonder why he’s best remembered for being Stewart Smalley, I
think Stewart, huh, you know, issues come up, like when, but its not like
people don’t talk about their life through, those bastard republicans…
2003 Bodegas Nieto Senetiner Lujan de Cuyo Malbec
$ (gift from bro’s trip to Argentina, but I
know it was inexpensive, he didn’t make me pay for it) Lush dark fruit with a spice finish, well rounded and soft on the
bottom rich texture and deep color, a Malbec to stand up well with roast
lamb or buffalo steak.
April 24, 2005
With the water drinking out of my system, I had to do
the un-water thing. When one
needs a good dosing of red wine, there is no better person to call then Wino
Rocker, the King of Quantity. The
ever available for drinking and eating WR, jumped at the chance to consume
mass quantities so we hunted down the only BYOB that takes reservations and
was not booked up. Yes we have
a plethora of BYOBs, but most do not take reservations and the ones that do,
for some reason were full. Sofia’s
in North Caldwell was uncomfortably empty for a Saturday evening, but it
allowed us to secure a table for four at a moment’s notice.
The food is good and reasonably priced at this storefront eatery.
I grabbed some wine from the cellar, stuff I have reviewed in the
past. Arriving several minutes
behind the Wino Rockers, the first bottle was already opened and poured.
Mrs. Rocker is a big Shiraz fan and picked one from a solid producer,
which I enjoyed very much. It
was mass consumption of food, wine and conversation and provided a fun,
entertaining night to clear out the water in my fuel lines.
2002 Grant Burgess Barossa Vines Shiraz
Blackberry, dark cherry, raspberry and spice provide a nice array of
fruit to enjoy in this wine. An
everyday easy drinking wine from a quality winemaker.
2002 Santa Emma Cabernet Sauvignon
A good cabernet from Chile which has dark fruits, a hint of chocolate
and a nicely rounded finish. A
good value cabernet from the Miapo Valley.
2000 Aresti Montemar Carmenere
The fruit was frail and the finish harsh. I didn’t like this
wine and will not be purchasing it again.
April 23, 2005
It was a dry Friday as I spent time with the lovely and
talented Winette Tia and gang through dinner and the release of a movie she
had something to do with. The
event was celebrated with family and friends at a BYOB in posh, trendy
Montclair. Being the wine guy,
I asked her what I should bring for the style of fare at a place called
Indigo Smoke. Not much to go by
from the name. In a candid
email she shot back that here father, the Pentecostal Minister does not
drink, her friends from her church are dry, her business partner is a health
nut and she, yes, she has cast aside the evils of alcohol for the straight
and righteous way. Holy crap
Marie, dare I say, I would be dining with “tea totalers”.
Winette Tia and her business partner are involved in a
film coming out this June and they have been working with their distribution
company, placing movies in the area. Last
night, I was treated to the latest genre to hit Hollywood (blvd between Vine
and Monroe). Yes, this soon to
be movie trend (in areas of square blocks) will soon be coming to a theater
near you (as long as you live within a stone’s throw to Seven Eleven).
The movie title left me as confused as the cuisine at the restaurant,
The Night of Henna. This
groundbreaking film examines the love story of two Pakistani teens, arranged
to marry by their families. The
Big Gulp version of Romeo and Juliet has these lovers rejecting their family
tradition as they found separate love interests outside their culture.
Without ruining the ending for those awaiting its arrival in the
local theater, I will just tell you to bring tissues, as you will laugh and
cry through the journey of East meets West as two dissimilar cultures affect
the lives of four young lovers. Now
it’s no Kumar Goes to White Castle, but it is the first of its kind.
Upon leaving the theater, we were treated to a free CD of the movie
sound track, and I must admit, my CD collection is void of sitar and finger
During the dinnertime conversation, one of the guests
was a young woman still in the dating stages of fresh love.
She told a very funny story about the first date, a blind date, with
her current boyfriend. It turned out they shared each other’s meals, both not
telling the other they hated what they joyously shared. This turned the conversation to when is the tipping point in
a relationship, the time when the things you once thought were cute become
annoying. When did the goofy
outfit you praised become the, “I’m not going out in public with you
wearing that stupid outfit?” How
long into a relationship do the love blinders last, before the cold crisp
vision of reality take over? Any
In an unrelated but funny event that I observed earlier
in the day on Friday, I had to stop for directions on my way to see a
customer. I was in the correct
town but the street name on Mapquest didn’t match the street name the
customer gave me. I ran into a hotel on the main highway and asked the guy
behind the counter which street name was correct.
As I stood there and he looked up a local map, a businessman was
checking out. Well dressed,
leather briefcase in hand, he inquired if the hotel could take the movie
rental off his bill, as he would gladly pay cash and asked for a new
receipt. I guess his company
does not reimburse for Spanker-Vision.
Glad I didn’t have to shake his hand, how embarrassing.
2005 Montclair Tap Water
Clear, colorless, tasteless with a chilled and refreshing finish.
April 21, 2005
I figured its time for me to get back to wine, and only
wine for the moment. So this will be a short and simple entry, no
religious overtones, no fire and brimstone, no comment on world politics or
the ongoing dance of NJ’s gubernatorial contest.
So here it is, I was in Fairfield yesterday, around lunch time.
As you know it has been quite some time since I have indulged at
Bacchus. So I thought it might
be fun for a quick, solo lunch, a sliced steak sandwich and a glass of red.
Holy Mother; and I mean that in the non-religious sense.
I saw a Chilean cabernet in the wine by the glass cooler so I ordered
it with my meal. My interest in
tasting it is that I was delivered this same wine in my first of many
Costa’s monthly. The wine was
fine, but the Bacchus glass price was absurd.
For another $0.25 I could own the bottle from retail.
Hurt me, kick me, but don’t jam me, please.
I know we are all in business to make money, but Fairfield is not the
place to make your profit on the first glass.
I like you guys, the off taste in my mouth was not from the food or
drink; rather it was from the slip of paper at the end of my stay.
At retail, this is not a bad bargain, but at Bacchus by the glass, it
is a crime.
2002 Odfjell Vineyards Armador Cabernet Sauvignon
$ (9.99 retail 9.75/glass)
The black cherry and tobacco with a cassis hint makes this a fun
everyday drinking wine. Nice
tannins to work with the steak and a gentle finish.
April 19, 2005
The smoke from the Cohibas barely cleared the chimney
flue when speculation surrounded the election of the new Pope.
The Cardinal from Germany taking the name Pope Benedict XVI has the
talking heads talking. Was this a slap to the growing population of Catholics in
South America? Is the church so out of touch? They elected a
keeper of the tenants, one promoting the strict doctrines of the Gospel. He won’t address women and gays in the church. He
will be too pro life, too anti birth control, to dogmatic about religion.
Then in a collective sigh of relief they gleefully announced his age
of 78. Thank God, we know this
is a temp, someone to stand in and die in a few years so the real, more
liberal Pope can put distance between himself and Pope John Paul II.
And with a nod and wink, the coronation by the media accepted the new
Pope, with a cocked smile and a glimmering eye, knowing that salvation will
be just around the bend in biblical years.
Then we can look forward to a Pope promoting married priests, Papal
condoms, gay marriages, acceptable abortions and Winostuff Hot Nun of the
Month. I can’t wait to see
what’s under Sister Agnes’ habit. Come
to think of it, I did fantasize about what was under Sister Betrill’s
habit, as Sally Field was quite the babe.
I would get close to the TV and look up the screen, as she would take
flight on a windy day. Come on people, this is 2005, when will the Catholic Church
stop promoting those antiquated ideas of Jesus’ teaching? We all know the Bible is parables and Jesus never really
meant for us to offer our other cheek. He really meant for us to
figuratively turn the other cheek as we were planting a left hook to the
body. Face it, Sunday mass is
an hour to organize the rest of the day without kid interruptions.
This new Pope is going to drag religion back to the old days of
making us follow the Golden Rules, or honoring our parents, or not coveting
our neighbor’s wife. How can
we not covet our neighbor’s wife, did you see that low cut top she was
wearing? You know she wants it, and that’s great cause I can give it
to her since adultery is old school, and hell, I’ll be wearing a rubber
and if need be I could always get rid of anything that comes of it.
God I can’t wait for this Pope to run out his clock so we can get
that liberal Pope that smoked pot during Seminary, and protested the war and
really understands how cool religion could be if it wasn’t so religious.
(Editor's note: Just for the record, these opinions
are those of WinoBob and do not necessarily reflect the views of the
management of WinoStuff.com who don't want to burn in hell for all of
Hey, the Garden State Wine Club cluster F continues.
After canceling the gift, I come to find out they delivered wine late
last week. Actually they
delivered two bottles of the same wine.
I emailed them to confirm the cancellation and they emailed back that
they delivered after getting my email, the email I told them to cancel the
order and not deliver. When I
brought this to their attention, they haven’t gotten back with an
explanation. I do not know if
anyone else has had such poor dealing with this place, but email me if you
have. Next month, we do
2001 Finca El Portillo Malbec
Not fun, not funny, this wine dampened my Malbec mania.
April 17, 2005
If you own a TV, read the newspaper, listen to radio,
or surf the web today, you, like me, were inundated by the Papal election
process. The thing that struck
me is that after 2000 years, this process has been kept in such a guarded
state. In the world of mass
media, alternative news sources and every Tom, Dick and Harry with a
keyboard posting information, to date there is no Matt Drudge of Holy News.
We know more about President Clinton’s privates and our secret
weaponry then we do about the leader of 1.2 billion people.