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This page contains Winings from the 1st Quarter of the year 2003. To contact WinoBob, click here March 29, 2003 I will not
spend a great deal of time giving my opinion of the world situation.
I ditto Wino John’s editorial and since he can write more
eloquently and use gooder grammar, I will leave it at that.
I want to get back to the theme of the page and tell you how excited
I was today as I headed to the mailbox and picked up my Winostuff box of
Goodies. Except for the fact
that I had to pay full retail, I am elated.
OK, except for the fact that I had to pay full retail, I thought this
job had some perks, and except for the fact that I now am the owner of a
Winostuff thong and no one to fill it, I am elated.
OK, except for the fact that I paid full retail, have a thong that
needs to be filled out by a woman, I will at least be smiling as I fill out
my coffee mug with a pot of fresh brew. I am now in
search of a model that will pose in my freshly purchased and once sniffed
thong for us to liven up the products page.
The items Wino John has selected are great, but the white background
with the white clothing seems a bit dull.
In search of flesh tones to model and add market appeal, inquire
within. And while you are
there, don’t forget to pick up a Winostuff Lunchbox. I hear it’s
the rage in Ms. McFeeley’s third grade class in the Valley. 2000
Monte Antico Toscano $
(9.99) 2000
Penfolds Bin 389 Cabernet-Shiraz $
(22.00)
March 21, 2003 "Raise
your hand if you like the French. Raise
both hands if you are French… "Seen on ebay- Authentic French Military Rifle, dropped once, never fired, $129.95." The jokes are flying, unlike the French Air Force. Last night I spent my time clicking between MSNBC and Fox News, viewing the videophone live footage from the embedded reporters. As things went relatively smoothly, we get up close and personal with the action, but I have major reservations if we are ready for War as a reality show. How much live coverage will they be showing when a firefight breaks out? Will they show the exchange of artillery and incoming ordinance as it rips through bunkers or trenches? And how did Geraldo Rivera go from opening Al Capone’s vault, defending Clinton in his extra-sexual endeavors, then become the embedded reporter for the 1000 troops that strategically struck Afghanistan two nights ago? “I’m here in an undisclosed location in the high hills of Afghanistan and in mere moments will be entering the cave where Bin Laden has been holed up for weeks. Come with me as we get the first look at, hey wait a minute, where did Dan Rather come from and Peter Arnet? CBS, I understand, but CNN beat me here? OK, Rather, put up you dukes. This is my report…." "Hi, Jerry Springer here reporting from an undisclosed location in the high hills of Afghanistan where Dan Rather and Geraldo Rivera are about to undertake a Shock and Awe campaign like none other we have seen to date. Geraldo, I understand Dan just said you changed your name from Jerry Rivers to get a quota appointment to ABC studios and your mama eats rice and beans…" Please let
the reporting on the war not be the story that overshadows the mission of
the war. We are there for one
purpose, to win with all the power and force necessary to give our troops
the best opportunity for a safe campaign.
I am afraid that the embedded reporters can fuel the structure of the
anti-war crowd. Hey, didn’t I
see you guys at the don’t wear fur protest? Or was it the save
the rainforest from the logging industry protest? No, it was the don’t
drill for oil in Alaska protest.
Ok, so this war is about oil, but we have an oil reserve in Alaska,
but you all protested us wanting to use that oil. I guess I don’t know
what you really want. I know
now, you were the same protesters that marched on Washington when our pilots
were shot down in Bosnia. Oh that’s right, you stood behind Clinton then
as he was the most brilliant military mind since Napoleon. That’s right,
you didn’t protest Bosnia and Kosavos’ military action. That’s where I
recognize you protesters from…. God's
speed
to the US Forces!
March 18, 2003 Main Entry:
1ad
ho·mi·nem
Though Wino
John toils his evenings away developing the unabridged version of the
Bobglish to English dictionary, I did happen to luck out and use a word that
is defined in Webster’s Collegian. A belated
Happy St. Patty’s Day to all my Irish friends, relatives and winos in the
crowd. But I must confess, I am
elated that the Irish are not Big Wine People.
They can place cheesy Green food dye in their beer, their bagels,
their whiskey and their hair, but thank God they don’t attempt to dye my
wine. Did you ever see what
that green bagel looks like after it passes through you? Enough said.
I find it most interesting that the Irish celebration has taken on
this need to dye everything we ingest that day, Green.
I don’t drink Red, White and Blue beer on the 4th of
July, nor do I eat red, white and green spaghetti on Columbus Day.
So why the fascination with Green Dye number 4?
I will admit that one evening I stained my lawn a weird color when
red wine and yellow bile flowed forth from the involuntary rejection my body
imposed on the massive amount of wine I drank at UnBacchus, but even that
wasn’t Green. So, dance and
sing and lead the snakes to the sea, but please refrain from altering the
solids and liquids I purchase on the 17th of March with Green Dye
number 4. Yesterday, I heard the cracking of the insurmountable will of the French when they offered us the use of their air space. Trust me, winos, within the week, as the sands in the 48 hour clock slip through the hour glass, the French will be standing shoulder to shoulder with us, doffed with their traditional White Flags in hand, and sending us all a case of wine as an apology for doubting this was the right thing to do. As the hour draws near, I send out my prayers to the Men and Women in the U.S. Armed Forces who willingly volunteered their lives to keep this Country the Greatest in the World. Be strong, Be safe, Be Decisive, and Be Proud for through you, the People of Iraq will soon understand the beauty of a free country. (Editor's note: OK, I'll give you "ad hominem" but tell me, what dictionary tells you to capitalize every third word in a sentence?)
March 15, 2003 Is it just me or is anyone else slightly bothered by the cover of Wine Spectator’s March 31, 3002? Oh, yes, a belated birthday gift from my non-Wino Sister’s family is a subscription to WS. Now I can find out about all those great wines I cannot afford. This caught my eye, “A Traveler’s Guide to Bordeaux”-France; “Germany’s Classic 2001 Vintage:65 Rieslings Rate 95+”-Germany; and “Dining in America: The Mediterranean Trend”-The United States of America. Hauntingly prophetic or a subliminal adhominem attack? You be the judge. As far as content, I won’t be traveling to France in the near future even if Veronique is willing to send the family private jet to pick me up at Caldwell Airport and whisk me away to barrel sample in Gevry Chambertine. If 65 wines all rated so high, could the curve be skewed? If everyone gets an A on the test, is it really a test? Exactly. (Editor's note: I tried but I couldn't translate "adhominem" into English...) So here I
am with my first issue wanting to further my wine knowledge database and I
can’t read it. The only
article that I did read was one entitled, “Frequent Drinking May Lower
Risk of Heart Attacks”. Wahoo,
it’s not how much but how often! Hey, I’ll drink to that. 1999 Il
Poggione San Leopoldo $$$
(34.00)
March 14, 2003 Kudos to
the NY Post for taking a stand and advocating dumping French and German
wine. Ausselassen keine mehr,
or something like that. Hell,
high school was too long ago to remember the correct phraseology.
What it really means for us is that once this boycott gets legs, we who
enjoyed those bargain, less sought-after wines will be paying more at the
pump, so to speak. I have seen
Faithful Hound climb the price ladder in two years.
This was a great Bordeaux blend from South Africa that was under
$20.00. Now, it is selling for
$22-25 and soon to be on the rise again. I was just starting to silently chuckle that the dot.com money was gone and the California wine pricing would be more reasonable in the next two years. Now, when those Patriots amongst us clammer for California wine, bang-zoom, right to the moon Alice, the costs will inflate uncomfortably. Word to President Bush, word to your mama, "I know you are leading the charge on boycotting French wine, but if you just start the war, kick ass and take names, and force the French to follow the leader, then things could calm down, and the French can apologize." And in an Olive Branch gesture, they can send Wino John and I several cases of hard to find Bordeaux and we will spread the word to start drinking French wine again. I offer our services as the Wino Diplomat to rebuild French/American wine relations, when rebuilding the new world order begins. Maybe there can be a Cabinet Position in the Bush White House for WinoStuff’s staff. I could be Ambassador of Wine Nations in the Southern Hemisphere and Wino John can be Ambassador in the Northern Hemisphere. We would maintain the free trade between our country and those in the world that want to be like us, by jetting across the globe and giving important speeches on behalf of President Bush, since he’s so busy with those other issues and stuff. Call me crazy, but I really think this could be a paid position in the Administration since there will be such a bitter taste left on the palates of all us Winos by France’s current opposition to surrender.
March
11, 2003 I
was so excited when Wino John cut the deal with that cyber store thing that
I rushed out to buy the banana hammock and popped the cork on a frisky
Italian. I didn’t realize that Wino John was lurking in the bushes
outside my home when I donned the thong and did the Wino Bob Happy Dance.
Now
we are building a site with a bit of titillation and the Best in Wine
Information in our Minds. This
should skyrocket us up to porno numbers in hits-per-day.
So back to this frisky Italian, all I remember was waking up the next
morning with my Wino Thong on my head like a gas mask. Hey, did
someone order Blue Cheese Dressing?
1997
Frescobaldi Pomino Rosso $$
(28.00)
March 8, 2003 Wino
John, please remove my picture from the web site. Since it was posted,
I have been receiving ads like the one below: *As seen
on TV* The health discovery that reverses signs of aging naturally and
that is completely safe and effective is on sale for a limited time! Buy a
two-month supply of our product and we will give you one month free! All
natural H_G_H Enhancer will help you with all of the following: - Reduce
body fat and build muscle - Enrich your sex life - Help remove cellulite and
wrinkles - Sleep better, improve vision and memory - Restore hair growth and
color - Strengthen your immune system - Have more energy - Turn back time on
your body's biological clock up to twenty years with just six months of use!
*** IF YOU ARE NOT COMPLETELY SATISFIED WITH OUR PRODUCT WE WILL REFUND YOU
YOUR MONEY, NO QUESTIONS ASKED *** I
guess all the years of hard drinking has made me look old beyond my years. Fear not, now there is a magic snake oil I can use to restore
my hair, rid me of cellulite and make me a wild man under the sheets.
For awhile I was worried that my super healthy heart and lungs would
forever be contained in the body of Buddy Ebsen, but now I can reverse all
the hard years back to my youthful pre-wine drinking days.
As Ricky Riccardo once said, “It is better to look good than to
feel good.” Unfortunately, I
think my gear shift has passed reverse, neutral, drive and is hanging at Low
1 right now. But for those of you that haven’t damaged yourself the
way I have, please feel free to try these magic pills and let me know how it
turns out. Can’t
you see I’m on a Rhone Jones that Jacques Chirac is keeping me from?
So I did venture into the world of California’s Rhone Rangers and
purchased a wine made from Syrah, Grenache and Petite Syrah which will do
until the French surrender and join us in this event in the Middle East.
2000
Morgan Cotes du Crow’s $
(15.99)
March 7, 2003 Well, well,
well. The first quarter of 2003 is screaming to a close and I am just
sitting down to close the 2002 Corporate books on WinoStuff.com.
Oh yeah, we have no income, we have no revenue, we do this for the
love of wine and, and… The
sad thing is that we can’t even declare bankruptcy since we don’t have a
bank account. To get this web
site to the next level, I began researching web-based businesses to see what
we can do to become a financial dynamo. I reached the same conclusion
as you; We Need Porn. It seems
that every housewife in the world has now entered the private picture and
video business and walked into the world of the rich and famous.
When I brought up the topic at our last planning meeting, the
levelheaded, socially upstanding Wino John quickly dismissed the idea.
“Wino Bob, you deviant, we cannot take the morally sound reputation
we have worked so hard to develop and drag it into the gutter that you seem
to be so comfortable living in.”
What’s the matter Wino John, you can’t convince any woman to pose
in front of a camera for us either? Well then,
let me tone it down a bit and propose this.
WinoStuff-Love Connection. Face
it; everyone checking in already has something in common, the love of wine.
And what goes after the love of wine, the need to find someone warm
and breathing to help fight off the emptiness and despair felt by one whose
best friend is a face painted on an empty bottle… Sorry, I mean,
there are a great deal of upscale, socially respectable people checking in
everyday. What better than
having Wino Bob read through a small checklist of what you are looking for
and match up those with similar wants and needs?
I will be like a Wino Cupid, already knowing that the women reading
this sight are looking for a warm sensitive guy who could treat her to a
nice dinner, take her on whirlwind vacations to exclusive resorts, has a
great smile and sense of humor, drives an ultra expensive imported car, can
lavish her in rare gems, provides an open account at Saks and has a Big One.
Most Winos are looking for, well, a warm body that doesn’t speak
unless spoken to and goes home to her place after the minute and a half love
making session. OK, maybe I
should take a step back and do this more objectively, kind of remove my
personal outlook and leave it to a simple list, like this. I am:
_________male _________female I am
looking for ____male ______female
______other I am
between ____21-35 ____36-40
______Over the hill My income
level is ____50-100K _____101-250K ______Bill
Gatesish My ideal date would be:__________________________________________________________________ My ideal
partner would
be:_________________________________________________________________ The one
thing I never told anyone about
myself:__________________________________________________ I really
get turned on when:_________________________________________________________________ My favorite
TV show is___________________________________________________________________ My favorite
music is ______________________________________________________________________ The wildest
thing I ever did
was_____________________________________________________________ If I were
to date Wino Bob, I
would__________________________________________________________ So let me
know what you think of my ideal of a Winostuff-Love Connection service and I
will fine tune the questionnaire to get at those import issues to allow me a
better chance of matching 2 people who can spend the rest of their lives
together until the wife decides to have an affair with Flavio the Gardener
and his 4 illegal immigrant crew on the imported silk sheets of the Italian
hand carved four-post bed while you are at work trying to close a deal to
keep the money flowing so she could spend the day lounging poolside in a
string bikini and sharing La Grande Dame with Flavio. Please email pictures so we can post them up in the “Members Only Section”
March 3, 2003 1997
Quail Creek Cabernet Sauvignon $
(16.99) Faustino
I Rioja Gran Reserva 1994 $$ (21.00) February 27, 2003 I had my people call their people, you know how that works. This is the way the elite do business, those that get the special invites, the coveted tables at the chic places. Ever sine the last Guest Book entry where Wino Wally chastised me for being a one note tune in dining, I decided to eat red meat somewhere other than Bacchus. This week, Solder Paste Boy (sometimes Wino Paul) and an associate, sometimes Wino Tim, where looking to enjoy an evening out filled with good food, good wine and complex conversation. I told them I could supply 2 out of 3. Due to a prior commitment, I missed the briefing meeting, held at that now-famous club on Route 17 that is fictitiously owned by the fabricated Italian American crime family person on HBO. Ever since my last rant on that issue, the heads of the Italo American Anti-Deformation League…have restrained me from using the term at describes a high pitched singer in an opera … Right down the road on 17 South is the establishment of CK’s Steak House. So I had my people call their people. Well actually, I tried to contact Bill Gant who gave me his card and said call any time, but Bill was always at meetings and in conference when his secretary heard my name. So I called the restaurant and made a reservation for our party of three. In truth, we had a great time and Bill did stop by to make sure things were going well and he introduced us to Arthur, their Sommelier. Also stopping by and making me feel like I was someone in front of people who know I’m no one, was the always smiling and effervescent Susan. At the end of the evening, she bid us a fond farewell since she is off to LA to become a TV star. The fare we enjoyed was the world famous Steak Soup, house salad (included) and the NY 16 oz Strip Steak. Mine was done to perfection and it could only be topped with a California Cabernet. As I looked around the restaurant, and after a friendly discussion with Arthur, the wine of choice for the patrons that night was Silver Oak, Alexander Valley. Arthur said it is their most requested California Cab and I saw several bottles being comforted in the hands of the hosts for the parties around us. Silver Oak is a fav of mine, but the near $200.00 price was not in my budget so I selected a nice wine for fewer than 60.00. Bill Gant was nice enough to tell me that anytime, I wanted to dine there, I could leave a message on his voice mail and he would see if there was a table available for that night and time and if not, I could sit in their lounge and have a glass of wine while I waited for a table to open up. God, it’s great to be somebody and enjoy the special treatment that is usually reserved for the elite in society. 1997 Floral Springs Cabernet Sauvignon
$$$ (58.00 rest.)
February 23, 2003 I can’t believe what a total disruption this whole France being whimps stuff has caused in my life. As our Number One Techno Dweeb has posted, which has been supported by the likes of the current administration, restaurant owners, the Congress and George Will, if France is opposing us in the war, we shall oppose them economically. Since the Citron dealership in NJ gave up years ago and TNN is no longer running Laurel and Hardy Join the Foreign Legion, French wine and cheese are the only import worth boycotting. So yesterday, I went down to the cellar and isolated the French wine (which was purchased prior to their not supporting the US in the UN but after not letting us fly our jets over their air space to go after Libya) from the rest of the world wines I own. I haven’t destroyed the wine as of yet, since history is on my side that when the heat gets turned up, the French will be falling in line, but I did have to send them to a different rack. They no longer mingle with my Silver Oak and Caymus Special Selection. I don’t even have them near my Carascal or Rosemount. No, my Chateauneuf’s are in exile, awaiting a resolution to bring them back to the fold. But that, my wino friends, was just the start of the day. As I lunched at a small place in town, I opted out of the French Onion Soup for the heartier New England Clam Chowder and the salad came with Thousand Island dressing, if you know what I mean. This whole French thing has me pissed off to the point that I asked the chef to replace the cheese in the recipe with Good Old American Goat Cheese, no Frog Cheese here. So I am doing my part, not purchasing French wines, not eating French fare, but the one thing that really hit hardest is that until this is settled, I will no longer be French kissing. And boy is my dog pissed… 1998
Henry Estate Pinot Noir Umpqua Valley Barrel Select
$ (19.00) 2000 Dr.
Konstantin Frank Johannisberg Riesling, Salmon Run
$ (10.99)
February 22, 2003 It seems like some of you want me to be more like Joe Friday and hand out the facts, just the facts. It appears that my rambling entries do not humor you as much as they do me. So I submit this one as bone dry as I like my red wine, not semi-sweet, not port-like, just right to the fruit. (Editor's note: Thank God.) 1995 BV
Rutherford Cabernet Sauvignon $ (19.99)
1997
Kendall Jackson Cabernet Sauvignon Grand Reserve $$
(44.00) 1998 BPE
Vineyards Leydens Vale Shiraz $ (11.00)
1999
Rodney Strong Alexander’s Crown Vineyard Cabernet Sauvignon $$
(24.99)
February 20, 2003 Justi-Fied or not. Finishing my snowbound evening with Wino Wilson and a few neighbors, I circled the wagons in front of the fire for more wine drinking for those aching from the repetitiveness of slinging snow over the shoulder. Looking to be hospitable, I opened a bottle that has been in the cellar for more than two years, a California Cab. Excited by the enjoyment of this wine, I was out to lunch with Wino John and tried a syrah from the same winery. Aging make a world of difference and the 2000 wines from Justin are not drinkable in my opinion. The 1997 Cab was elegant and smooth with great fruit and a hint of tannins. However, the 2000 Syrah is not at all ready for public consumption. Look for 1998 and older from Justin of Paso Robles. They make a good wine but release a young brash wine that is in need of rest before consumption. 1997
Justin Cabernet Sauvignon $
(15.00) 2000
Justin Syrah $
(20.00)
February 17, 2003 Snow bound and aching from the 3 hours of clearing snow, Wino Wilson and I decided to get drunk and shovel more later. With snow still falling, I figured it is better to shovel in 3-hour intervals so the task doesn’t overwhelm me and cause me to jump off the roof. It has been snowing for 16 hours and they say it won’t stop until this evening. Crisis two, I have neglected to replenish the cellar with everyday drinking wine. With the economy still tight, withdrawals are outweighing deposits. But if my heat goes out and I freeze to death tonight, I will have never enjoyed the few better bottles I have sleeping in the racks. Though I cannot justify opening a Caymus Special Selection, I did dig into a higher end bottle for today. I am guilt ridden by the fact that if I don’t freeze to death and do have company, I have one less nice bottle of wine to choose from. Then again, if I do freeze to death, the person that finds me can enjoy a selection of fine wine of which I haven’t had the chance to review. To drink,
or not to drink, to pay the heating bill or not to pay the heating bill, to
get drunk or to graciously swirl, sip and spit. What the hell, its
Presidents Day, I must honor all the vineyard-owning Presidents.
Oh yeah, I’m also really happy that they formed a Democracy that
allows me to babble insistently without direction or cause and for making
this the Best Damn Country to Live in Bar None.
I’ll drink to the ability for anyone to have the chance to grow up
and be President, as long as you have millions of dollars of personal wealth
to fund the primary, have a prep school education, and can speak well in
front of large hostile crowds. I’ll
drink to the fact that a man like Al Sharpton, who vehemently defended
Tawana in some made up hoax, is now the lead candidate for the Democratic
Party. OK, so he’s not the lead, but he is the most powerful person
in the 2004 race based on the number of votes he will deliver or remove from
his fellow party members. Yes,
the Democratic Party, the Party of Equal Opportunity and Affirmative Action,
is caught in the dilemma of telling the world they are different from the
Conservatives, yet are working behind the scenes to discredit the medallion-wearing,
well-quaffed-hair and plain-speaking Mr. Sharpton.
This race will be fun to watch from the sidelines and I only hope
there will be many public debates to allow each personality to ring out.
So I send out a toast to the Presidents that shaped our country and
to those who even today are but Trivia Pursuit Questions.
Quick, tell me in one sentence Millard Filmore’s outlook on foreign
affairs. Can you give a famous line from Calvin Coolidge?
Better yet, who was William Taft’s VP?
I do salute, Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Truman, Eisenhower,
Nixon, Reagan, the Bushes, and Cleveland.
OK, I just threw Cleveland in there since he was born in Essex County
NJ. Happy Presidents Day and
God Bless the USA. 1997
Qupe Bien Nacido Hillside Estate Syrah $$
(47.00)
February
14, 2003 Checking
into the mailbag this week, I received the following Biblical quote from
Solder Paste Boy telling me how evil my life is since wine is such a large
part of my enjoyment. But he referenced the book of Numbers. What SPB doesn’t realize is that in my library, right next
to the bowl, I have a Bible and have read through it to see the references
to wine. I figure leaving the
Bible in the bathroom allows me to cleanse spiritually and mortally.
Wine is first referenced in Genesis 9:21-24 when God gave Noah the
gift of farming and Noah is credited with being the first to plant a
vineyard. It did say that Noah
got drunk, took off all his clothes and went to sleep in his tent which
embarrassed his sons. His
youngest tried to cover him up and Noah got mad and damned his descendants.
Then he sobered up, the flood thing happened and he lived another 350
years to the ripe old age of 950.
I’m not sure why his kids got embarrassed. My Dad did the
same thing all the time and look how I turned out.
There does seem to be many references in the Old Testament regarding
the evil of wine; but I am a New Testament Guy and when Wino Jesus was
credited with making the equivalent to Screaming Eagle or Petrus at the
Wedding at Canaan, they called it a miracle.
Though SPB thinks I’m a Druid, a Hedonist and a Bacchanalian, I do
from time to time read more than Mad Magazine (is that even around any more?)
and the Sunday Funnies. Solder Paste Boy wrote: Wino God seems to have a different spin on
this wine thing. While writing this, I did manage to enjoy some fruit of the vine, not the one Noah planted, but I am sitting here naked and drunk and typing away. I wanted to stay light tonight so I grabbed a Chardonnay from that one rack that held my Wino Wally Summer Whites competition. I found a jewel (sorry I just looked down), I mean I found a nice surprise when I opened what could have been the winning wine in our tasting. This one cost less than $12.00 and turned out to be a 1997, which matured this wine to a golden honey color. I will have to drink out the rest of my Chards over the next few months, so next year we can actually have the contest. Yours
in the Spiritual imbibing of wine; Wino Jesus and Wino Bob 1997
Forest Glen Sonoma Chardonnay $
(11.99)
February
13, 2003 Well, reality
has washed back over me and the black suite is back in the closet.
Last night it was jeans, sweatshirt, microwave burrito and a bottle
of $5.99 r ed wine. Reality sucks,
but the expense of high-end red and white Burgundies are not an everyday
occurrence. Remember, we do
this site for nothing but the enjoyment of wine, love of wine experiences,
and the fact that we can’t figure out how to get someone to fund us.
The fall from small, intimate wine dinner with megaweights in the
industry to the couch, cheese, the Bachelorette (the TV show,
not Trista since Wino Wally couldn’t get her people to call my people) and
the conclusion of The Mole, is a great distance and I had to
drown my misery. I escaped to
Spain, actually a red from Galicia. But
as with the best laid plans of mice and Winos, the wine left me like Jamie
(hey, that’s a chick’s name) on his only date with Trista; unconfident
and stuttering. No diamond in the rough here. What I believe that
means is sometimes one might find a rock that may not look like much until
the artful hands of a craftsman fractures it at just the right angle to
unveil a multi-faceted exquisitely stunning gem.
Sorry, since I book marked the site that Wino Wally and Solder Paste
Boy Paul referred me to, I have tried to educate myself before using a new
cliche. 2000
Monsieur Touton Selections Mosaica $
(5.99)
February
11, 2003 Thank God Monday Night Football is over and the Bachelorette is on Wednesdays. Over the weekend, I received an email from a very famous Wine Industry Importer who cuffed me about for my lack of White Burgundy/Pinot Noir reviews. Big Bob (guest book signature) of Dreyfus, Ashby & Company challenged me to open my Rhone-drenched gray matter and experience the complexities of Burgundy. As you winos know, Pinot Noir carries too much of a soft, temperamental and fleshy a reputation for me, but this being as near to a McInerny-moment as I will ever experience, I accepted the invitation. Actually, I agreed to call the hotel and give them my Am Ex number. Unlike Jay, I have yet to get one of those real invitations. The event just ended and I am driving home on Route 3 West with one hand on the wheel and the other pecking out this entry as testament to the fun and exciting experience this event delivered, though I was taken aback when no one was dressed in the ritualistic robe associated with such a celebration. I read the email quickly, but I thought Big Bob said that we would be enjoying an evening of wine rituals with Veronique, a Druid. So imagine my embarrassment when Big Bob introduced me to Veronique Drouhin, great-granddaughter of Joseph Drouhin and winemaker extraordinaire for Maison Joseph Drouhin (Beaune, France) and Domaine Drouhin Oregon (Dundee, Oregon). Wino John may have his fascination with Ms. Immer, but as you can see, Veronique and I had our own special moment of private conversation as I asked her how long it takes to peel the red skins off the grapes to make a White Burgundy.
Hell,
Burgundy was the green jug my father kept on top of the fridge to serve
quarterly to our crazy neighbor as she made him load the ice and top it with
a splash of seltzer.
As you can see from his expression, the name Wino Bob did little to impress CK. From the quick conversation we shared, one can immediately sense his passion for wine and warm sense of humor. So Jay McInerny gets invited to drink magnums of 1963 Chateau Margaux at CK’s home, Wino Bob at least was not escorted out by his private security detail after shaking hands. The experience was highlighted by Wino John actually leaving his pocket protector and blue button-down oxford shirt home and donned a BLACK three button Manhattanesque shirt and blazer. Wino John’s subscription to Popular Science must have been traded this month for GQ .
I really thought the Wino Bob Mojo was kicking in high gear as Susan pleasantly smiled and occasionally touched me on the shoulder as she served our table. Finally, I thought, I might be shedding the third-floor anti-social personality, only to be told by Bill Gant, the Manager or the Renaissance Hotel, that Susan was an actress. Pictured here are Bill and the smiling Susan Imagine
Susan with gray make up and laying face down with strangle marks about her
neck and a blunt object wound on her head and you will remember the episode. Also seated at our table was the host (and my new best friend), Big Bob, along with ex-Sonoma Grill owner-turned restaurant consultant and wine class presenter, John Foye.
With a
minimal database to draw from, as Big Bob so aptly informed me after
clicking through our site, I will roll out my reviews over the next several
days. I know one thing, I
leaned heavier toward the oaky Chardonnays and enjoyed the barrel selected
Pinot. The food and wine
pairing went as follows:
We opened
with a 2000 Domaine Drouhin Oregon Chardonnay and a 2001 Chablis Domaine de
Vaudon as we snacked on Brie and crackers.
Our Lump Crab Cake was accompanied by the 2000 Joseph Drouhin Puligny
Montrachet and the Joseph Drouhin Chablis 1er Montmains, our Salmon and
Asian Beurre Blanc Sauce was also brought out at this point, though the crab
cake was supposed to be supported by the DDO Chardonnay and Chablis Domaine
de Vaudon. We just had to have
Smiling Susan refill our glasses to show both dishes with the latter two
wines. Personally, I enjoyed
the Salmon and the Puligny Montrachet.
The crab cake carried too much spice (pepper) for my taste with these
wines. We were
then treated to Roast Breast of Chicken with sun dried tomato Orzo and Lemon
Caper Sauce and pours of 2000 Joseph Drouhin Puligny Montrachet Folatieres
and 2000 Joseph Drouhin Chassagne-Montrachet Marquis de Laguiche.
I think this Marquis guy is a real estate owner and has a management
company in France, but I have to research this a little more.
He does grow some elegant Chardonnay. As if that wasn’t enough, and the fact that all 6 wines to this point were white, we got down to some red meat and red wine. Petite Filet Mignon Cabernet with Chanterelle Butter is something I could admire, but Pinot as a travel buddy had me thinking these guys were Burgundy fanatics that really don’t appreciate the desires of red meat and big bold wines. But as education was the purpose of the night, I opened my mind and inhaled the Pinot Noir. OK, so my mind is playing tricks on me. You know, they fooled those wine experts in France by coloring white wine with red food dye and they all described the Chablis with cherry and plum flavors, but the 1999 DDO Pinot Noir Laurene (named for Veronique’s daughter) was a strong pairing and opened me up to the realization that I do need to spend more time drinking those fleshy, femme fatales. The additional Pinot was the 1999 DDO Pinot Noir whose complexity was eye opening. At one point, when I was able to breathe, I did mention to Veronique that if she was in need of another barrel selection label, I could have my representatives prepare the paperwork for the exclusive rights to use DDO Pinot Noir Wino Bob. She said something to me in French as she was walking way that sounded very much like "stupid-idiot", but I’m sure when I look it up in my French-English dictionary, it must mean, “What a superb suggestion.” At this point I was self-absorbed in actually being in an intimate wine dinner experience with heavyweights of the world wine scene. Part of me was a fan and I gazed like the first time I met Carl Banks of the Giants on a flight home from Chicago. Another part of me had elevated the experience to the beginning of many "A List" invites to more industry events and private dinners with world renown wine people. But then reality pushed into the fore-front of my brain that I was just Wino Bob, oft referred to in the guest book as a "stupid-idiot", seated in the back row of the classroom making Eddy Haskel-like wise cracks when the speakers mention Cote de Beaune. (Pronounced Coat the Bone). Refraining from the lowbrow Wino Bob humor, I will leave the obvious Bevis and Butt Head joke list to the audience, but if you’d like to hear mine, I will privately email the page I jotted down last night. We also
enjoyed an additional wine that Big Bob presented. I wasn’t
paying attention as Big Bob and Wino John spoke but it was a
Charmes-Chambertin
and the most robust wine of the evening.
Dessert, Berries Sabayon, was accompanied by a Port, not from Dreyfus
Ashby’s portfolio so I will just say its sweetness went well with the
fruit. Veronique concluded the evening with a personal invitation for all in attendance to call her and set up a private visit to their properties in France and the US, though she did her best to face away from my side of the table and murmured it in as low a tone as possible. The evening was a success as to the definition of what this wine site was developed for, sharing new wine experiences with new people in a fun and educational fashion until Wino Bob goes too far and shoots someone in the eye with a paper clip. I personally want to apologize to Big Bob, CK and Veronique for me actually showing up and bringing my Blue Collar wine mentality to this sophisticated event, but I had a damn good time. It opened my eyes to a grape I shied from and I will be calling Veronique weekly to see how she is doing. Now back to potty humor and immature thoughts….
February
8, 2003 What
does one do when holed up in the house with a bottle of Red Wine and 6
inches of freshly fallen snow blocking the doors to the outside world? You go to the third floor retreat, cork screw, glass and
bottle in tow, and you log on to the internet.
With Trista’s TV wine consumption in the back of my mind, I decided
to look up how many movies or TV Shows have been produced with "Wine"
in the title. It looks to me
like Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle would have been a frequent visitor to WinoStuff.com.
I wonder if he had wine the night his career ended? Thanks to all who have emailed me with links to sites that explain the meanings of clichés. I now have a plethora of resources to review prior to using a phrase. As per Wino Wally and Wino (Solder Paste Boy) Paul, I believe "Blowing Smoke Up Someone’s Ass" is NOT a good thing. Though not one of the sites explained anything further than "Blowing Smoke" coming from magicians and deception. How it was sent up one’s private area eludes me to this point. Information
for this list was compiled from a movie site database and I thank them for
that. Movies
TV-Movies
Made for Video TV Series
February 7, 2003 Anyone else
self-employed? Fourth Quarter
taxes completed? Depressed, or
is just me? Last night I
completed the necessary Government-required check-writing ritual and flopped
on the couch in front of the TV. As
I surfed the tube for something to take my mind off the depression of taxes,
I just happened to stumble upon a show that caught my eye because of the
festive mood and wine glass clinking. I
hung with the show for a while and observed the prominence that wine
consumption had at every occasion right there in prime time on WABC-TV.
Caught by another Reality Show, this one interested me because the
star must be a Winette; she was in every social setting with a red wine
glass in hand, though the labels were never shown to see if she might have
been drinking Wino John’s WOTM selection.
The show is something called The Bachelorette and
features an attractive young woman who is on a quest to find true love by
speed dating through 25 guys to pair down to the one true love of her life.
All this action is caught in front of a three-camera shoot and takes
place over an 8-10 week timeframe. I
am now hooked, not on whom she ultimately selects to spend the rest of her
life with, but rather by the volume of wine this woman consumed last night
in the condensed version of her week. As
best as I can tell, she drank wine 5 of the last 7 days this week at planned
lunches and dinners. I offer
myself to the Reality TV world to have someone follow me around all week as
I, well, drink wine to the point of incoherent babbling.
I would open the show, shopping for the wine I was going to drink,
preparing the day by making sure I had the correct Riedel glass.
I would painstakingly linger over the opening, swirling and sipping
routine. Then I would have the
host ask me thought provoking questions as I drank through the bottle to see
how long it took for my thoughts to go from revolutionary, sober, structured
essays to my more comfortable mental stammering that winds up in Wino
John’s hands to edit back to intelligible sentences.
I would string this out for weeks as I consumed wines from different
regions to see if Syrah from Northern Rhone made me smarter then a Pinotage
from Stellenbosch. I will
watch anxiously next week to see if Trista selects her Prince Charming or
winds up in AA next to me with the words I have told my counselor for many
years, “I drink because of my work, my audience, I could stop anytime I
want. It’s just not time
yet.” I say we enroll Trista into the Winostuff Hall of Fame for her obvious positive representation of those of us who consume wine more than 4 times a week.
February 2, 2003 My 'Devil
May Care' attitude had me throw caution to the wind and try something
different. You know, there are
a great many stupid sayings that we use in everyday language and I don’t
know their origin. These
phrases and clichés may have been changed over time and the meaning I use
them for my not be the meaning they were designed to be used as. For example, I have a friend that constantly uses a phrase to
interject in our conversation. After
hearing it, I am still baffled whether it is a positive or negative comment.
If there is any linguist out there that can point me in the direction
of identifying the origins of phraseology, please email me.
The one I am most perplexed by is “You wouldn’t be blowing smoke
up my ass?” Who the hell came
up with that saying and how did they determine if it’s a good thing or a
bad thing. Ben Franklin said,
“A penny saved is a penny earned.”
I get that, but blowing smoke in that particular region on the
anatomy escapes even my vivid imagination of its origin.
So I don’t think I’m blowing smoke up your ass, when I tell you
that a good Rioja goes just as well with Italian food as a good Chianti.
Unless, it’s a good thing to do, then I am blowing smoke.
But to me, I don’t think it’s a good thing, I think. Anyway, from the River Oja Valley, comes a fun little wine that stands up well to the Rigatoni Vodka Sauce and Chicken Parm I ate last night. The 1998 Riojas carry a bit more tannin than the 1999 and 2000s, which allowed me to not be bowled over by the tomato base of the dish. If I recall correctly, the "Only Wish I were A Giant Fan Wannabe", "Eagle Wound Licking" Wino John has said on occasion the he and the Mrs. have enjoyed a Rioja or two with Italian Fare. And I don’t think he was blowing smoke, unless that’s a good thing, but I don’t think so yet. (Editor's note: I agree. A good Rioja stands up well to a hearty red sauce. Warning: Be careful with the Eagles-bashing, cirrhosis-boy. The "Piss on the Giants" graphic could replace the stick figure drawing at the top of Bob's Winings.) 1998
Bodegas Muga Rioja Reserva $
(18.99)
January 31, 2003 January
29, 2003 I must
confess, I cheated last night. I
feel guilty today. I keep looking over my shoulder waiting for someone to
say, “Hey, I saw you out last night, sitting in that back table with your
collar up hoping not to be noticed. But I saw you, I saw you.”
OK, so here it goes. I must confess, I ate red meat and drank wine in
a place other than Bacchus. There,
it’s off my chest and I can hold my head up in good conscience.
Last night was my annual dinner with one of the only other high
school buddies I am still in touch with.
He lives south of me so we try to pick a halfway point and eat a
hearty dinner, update a year's worth of family, friend and business
conversation into a bottle of red wine and vow to meet quarterly so it
doesn’t have to be an all nighter to check up.
Knowing our schedules, I will have dinner with Wino Rich January 27,
2004. We wound up at Sabbastian's
in Morristown, a quaint Manhattan Lite steakhouse near the Morristown rail
station, which boasts more fish and chicken dishes than steak.
We chatted with one of the owners and he said the Yuppies that eat
there after their commute home from NYC are looking for healthier dishes.
I had no problem zeroing in on the Rack of Lamb, with Gorgonzola au
gratin potatoes. Their food
prices for the portion was very reasonable, but their small, overly pricey
wine list is where they must be making up the shortfall on the food. After being insulted by the trendy California Cabernet
pricing, I overpaid for a simple syrah from Alexander Valley. 1999
Clos du Bois Shiraz $$
(38.00) January
28, 2003 Congratulations
to all you Bucs fans and condolences to the Silver and Black.
I thought this Super Bowl would have been a chess match, similar to
the great Fischer-Spatsky marathons of the seventies.
Though I was not a member of the chess club in high school, I do
appreciate the strategic nuances of the game.
Yes, nothing better than mailing your best friend a small slip of
paper by snail mail with the simple message; Pawn to Q4.
I’m sure the Egg Heads in the audience are roaring along with me,
as we would move the piece along with our long distance partner and check
the mail box for his counter to that powerful move. My weekend
was rife with merriment and wine drinking, though my dinner at Bacchus was
accompanied by a familiar glass of Argentinean Malbec.
I only mention this because the last time I ate at Bacchus was
December 12th, the Immer dinner.
Oh yeah, to learn more about that check out Wino John’s What’s
New page, his love of Immer has clouded his understanding of the word New.
One of Saturday’s offerings was the Hunter’s Special, a combo of
Wild Boar and Venison. Talk
about Discovery Channel up close, I found myself envisioning the wind
blowing through tall dry grass on the plains near a watering hole and I had
just made a fresh kill. Their
venison was freshly struck by a Lincoln Navigator on Passaic Ave (Yuppies
don’t always pay attention as they are talking on their cell phones
heading to Caldwell Airport for their private plane to whisk them to
Atlantic City). Since this was
my first time with Wild Boar (not that the last engineer I had to meet with
wasn’t a Bore, he just wasn’t Wild), I wasn’t sure what to expect.
It did turn out to be a Red Meat Lover’s delight and the flavor was
similar to the Buffalo Steak I once had at Bacchus. For the Big
Game, it was just me and a bucket of Chicken Holiday, that greasy, delicious
deep-fried, heart clogging chicken skin which tastes like Heaven.
So I decided to open something simple and red to keep the blood
flowing. Remembering back to
one of the dinnertime discussions I was having with the King’s wine staff
at the Immer Dinner (that was when Wino John was insulting the guy next to
him for liking the Pinot), I grabbed a bottle of Cabernet Franc.
Yes, the King’s crowd defended the Franc as a grape worthy of
standing alone and producing sexy wines.
So I thought to myself, boxer shorts, bucket o’Chicken, Super Bowl
and Sexy Wine, Wooo Hooo. 1999
Nance Cabernet Franc $
(18.99) January
24, 2003 Sometimes
there are unexpected surprises in life, though small in structure and miles
in between, last night I found one. After
dinner, I headed down to look at my wine, which I have been spending a large
amount of time doing lately. There
was one bottle I purchased several weeks ago at Costco which contains my
GOTY. This bottle’s shape has
a longer, thinner neck and a wider stubbier bottom, kind of like my first
girlfriend. It couldn’t fit
into a cubby in my rack so I had it setting on top of the pack since it’s
arrival. Being a bit of an
organization freak, it has been annoying me since it was obviously
misplaced. The only way to
solve the problem was to bring it up to the tiny, dank 3rd floor
room and cut, uncork and aerate. This
producer is well recognized for their well-crafted Zinfandels, but my
interest was a Rhone Blend that contains our Grape of the Year.
The first tasting left me concerned that I had made a mistake by not
buying the Zinfandel they are noted for.
I poured a full glass and set it out for a while and went on the
Internet to cruise my favorite sites. Time
allowed this wine to soften and open and provided a very enjoyable, pleasant
tasting wine that I would be happy to share with friends and guests before
dinner or just kicking around on a Saturday night.&nbs |
Thank
God, he left before I turned around.
The dinner
was held at CK’s Steak House, owned by world famous wine collector and
holder of paddle number 111 at auctions world wide, Charles Klatskin.
A friendly
staff member and famous actress, Susan (her credits include being a dead
body on the original Law and Order), kept our glasses filled and plates warm
as we dined and listened to Veronique discuss terrior differences between
their properties in France and the US and the influences developed in the
wines.
The
wine glasses in front of Big Bob are Wino John’s, though he wouldn’t get
in the picture, he was drinking the Pinot and admittedly enjoyed it…