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WINO
(wi´·
no): One who is chronically addicted to drinking
wine
Merriam-Webster
Looking
for something specific? Try our new Google search bar...
Breaking News!!!
Free Lindsay!
Yes, friends, it is time that we all pull together in a grass-roots
effort to free the poster child for hard core partying. As you
know, Lindsay Lohan is incarcerated at the Century Regional
Detention Facility in Lynwood, CA. (Yes, the same facility
that once housed party girl / heiress / porn star, Paris Hilton!)
Li Lo is doing time for some sort of "probation violation".
Can you believe that? It's time that we end this miscarriage
of justice!
What? WinoJohn, are you getting all soft-hearted on us?
What's going on? Well, I'll tell you what's going on.
This is what's going on. Lindsay does NOT belong in jail.
That's what's going on!!! Check this out...
-
Lindsay is a party girl.
i.e. a "wino". Winos don't belong in jail.
-
Alcohol monitoring bracelets
can't slow this girl down. She is a PROFESSIONAL!
-
This girl can pack away the
booze. She is like a female version of WinoBob. But
with better boobs.
-
She is some kind of bisexual
which means she is like half-lesbian. That's cool.
-
The other prisoners are
reportedly taunting her by screaming "fire crotch!" at
her. (As hot as that sounds, you know, with hot
prison chicks taunting each other before engaging in an actual
prison cat fight, with hair pulling and scratching and tearing
off of prison clothes,... Wait. What was
I saying...? I lost my train of thought...)
-
And, most importantly, when
she gets out of the slammer, Lindsay is supposedly making a move
about Linda Lovelace. Yes, THAT Linda Lovelace!
Did you hear that, people, Lindsay
is going to make a movie about a '70s porn star and she can't make
the movie WHILE SHE'S IN PRISON!!! Therefore, we are
requesting demanding the immediate release of
Lindsay Lohan!!! On... ummm... humanitarian
grounds! (It is inhumane to deprive us of Lindsay as Linda!)
We will not rest until Lindsay is released and permitted to begin
filming her next project. FREE
LINDSAY!!!
Are you with me, people???
A small group of protesters outside the
Century Regional Detention Facility demanding LiLo's release.
WinoJohn
July 25, 2010
Looking for old Breaking
News? click here...
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NEW!
Winery
of the Month
In my ongoing quest to drink down all
my Cali cabs from the '90s, I stumbled upon an old favorite. Given
that I was going to grill up some huge hunks of red meat, I figured,
"Yeah. This could be good. This could be very good..."
Let me tell you, "Good" was an
understatement. This wine was spec-friggin-tacular! It was
all the things that I love in big Cali cabs (although it is actually a
blend). There was massive amounts of red and dark fruit. The
tannins were ripe and juicy. There was vanilla and oak and there
was just enough sediment to keep The Wife away. This was a
wonderful wine. And now, it has earned its producer the most
coveted award in all of winodom... Ladies and gentlemen, I am
proud to honor this month's Winery of the Month...
The wine that earned this tremendous
distinction for Justin was their 1997 Justin Isosceles from Paso Robles.
This little beauty consists of 63% Cabernet Sauvignon, 19%
Cabernet Franc and 18% Merlot, all unfiltered (thus the wife-repelling
sediments!). Given the Bordeaux-style makeup of this wine, it is
also consistent with WinoStuff's Blend of the Year!
If you have any of this laying around
in your cellar, drink it up! (Or send it to me.) It is
drinking marvelously right now!
Congratulations, Justin people.
This is one hell of a wine!
WinoJohn
May 2010
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Sponsored
Links!
New Feature!
WinoBabe of the Month!
Knowing how many hours,
days, months Wino John has spent on the side lines of a soccer field,
it is befitting that we name this month’s Wino Babe from the host country of
the World Cup. My only soccer experience is a drunken afternoon in the
Meadowlands with a half-filled stadium watching Pele. I don’t even know if
that is his first or last name or both. Fortunately, this female wine maker
has two names, Erika Olbermeyer, and she is the brains behind the wines of
Graham Beck.
Erika aims to reflect the true potential of South Africa in her winemaking.
“We’ve got all the beautiful sunshine, the ancient soils and a wide variety
of slopes. We don’t always realize how fortunate we are to have so much
diversity. In our wines, we’ve got the best of both worlds - Old World
elegance combined with the up front fruit from the New World sunshine. I
strive for a style that is earthy, but still elegant with plenty of finesse,
beautiful fruit and an appealing mid-palate,” explains Erika.
Although she’s equally adept when it comes to creating award-winning reds,
Sauvignon Blanc is her first love. The single vineyard Graham Beck
Pheasants’ Run Sauvignon Blanc 2005 is what she’s most proud of. “It won a
number of high profile awards - giving me the confidence to keep aiming
higher and higher,” she says proudly.
Join me in tooting a
salute on our vuvuzelas to this month's Wino Babe, Erika Olbermeyer.
Congratulations, Erika!
...click here for the
WinoBabe
Hall of Fame
Got Stains?
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WinoStuff Magical
Red Wine Stain Removing Elixir
Developed by NASA!
(not really...)
Used on the Space Shuttle!
(we wish...)
As seen on TV!
(as far as you know...)
Not available in stores!
(actually, it IS available in stores. Go to any Bottle King location!)
Order now!!!
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Despite the recent Supreme Court ruling, there is still
work to be done!!!
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